Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #become #development

The advancements in

technology

have totally changed the way of interaction. Even though oftentimes people do not meet with each other in person and seem to share only their achievements,

technology

has positive impacts on human connections providing ease of connectivity which is a fruitful development. Mostly people virtually connect with each other and post their success on numerous digital

media

platforms. Facebook being the

poplular

Correct your spelling

popular

social

media

platform where netizens can see lots of posts full of glamour and luxury

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

repercussion

Fix the agreement mistake

repercussions

show examples

on its users as they feel that they are deprived of so many things in their lives.

For instance

, almost all celebrities have a presence on social

media

platforms where they have a huge fan following and share their thoughts on a daily basis. It is found that all those who continuously follow the stars have been going through anxiety.

Thus

, social

media

sometimes promotes mundane activities.

However

, despite having

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

drawbacks, these instant messaging applications have contributed a lot to the community. People can connect with friends and family with a great convenience which

otherwise

is not possible.

Moreover

, it has

shorten

Change the verb form

shortened

show examples

the communication gap in the workforce so the workplaces are getting full advantages of it.

For instance

, overseas residents can interact with their loved ones through a variety of voice and video platforms where they not only converse with each other but

also

express their feelings.

Thus

technology

is highly inevitable for connectivity in society. In conclusion,

although

technology

has diminished

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

face-to-face meetings and promoted unrealistic things, humans have been experiencing a great sense of connectivity.

According to

me,

this

is a positive development.

Submitted by Haris Khan on Sun Mar 10 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

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Organization & Linking

Work on presenting your ideas in a more organized manner. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Cohesion can also be improved by using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.

Task Response

While you have addressed the task, a deeper exploration and analysis of how technology impacts relationships would strengthen your essay. Try to give more detailed examples to support your arguments, and consider both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced view.

Specific Examples

Provide more specific, detailed examples to support your points. These examples should closely relate to the question and clearly demonstrate how technology affects relationships. The more relevant and detailed your examples are, the more persuasive your essay will be.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

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A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technology
interact
relationships
connectivity
communication
online
face-to-face
friendships
romantic relationships
family dynamics
positive
negative
development
effects
formation
ease
impacts
communities
connect
interaction

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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