the number of flights has increased. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays, it has become very usual for
people
to fly back and forth
over
Change preposition
between
show examples
countries for several reasons. In our growing international
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
more and more
people
have the opportunity to work all around the globe and
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
to the increasing
number
of
flights
. Even though
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a great and fast way for
people
to
travel
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy access to all parts of the world and
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
global cooperation, it is followed by many disadvantages, especially for the environment. These disadvantages
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
such
a negative impact on our lives and
threatens
Change the verb form
threaten
show examples
to destroy
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
future planet we live on and
that is
why the drawbacks exceed the
benefits
. Thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization
people
can now by
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
travel
both short and long distances without any bigger circumstances. The
benefits
of the growing
number
of
flights
are that
people
all around the world now have the chance to
travel
to different destinations and experience
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various numbers of cultures.
This
leads to a cultural exchange and greater diversity where example a man from the US gets to know and experience the Asian culture. Another benefit is how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international cooperation increases when
flights
become more common, where job opportunities
flows
Change the verb form
flow
show examples
free in different countries. But even though the growing
number
of
flights
has some
benefits
, the drawbacks will have bigger consequences. The increasing quantity of
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
rides impacts the environment in many various ways, and one thing they have in common is that all the consequences are negative. Airplanes emit a high amount of carbon emissions which contributes to climate change and problems regarding global warming. The growing popularity
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
flights
in particular
contributes to the reason why our earth keeps getting warmer each year, which is mainly because of the easy asset and the decreasing price
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
flight tickets. Many scientists have already warned us about what will happen if we continue to fly
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
speed, which will be horrible results. In conclusion,
while
the increase in the
number
of
flights
undoubtedly offers numerous
benefits
in terms of global connectivity and
cultrual
Correct your spelling
cultural
exchange, it cannot be denied that the drawbacks,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
concerning environmental degradation and climate change, outweigh these advantages. It is necessary that we seek sustainable solutions to mitigate these adverse
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
of air
travel
on our planet.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Include more specific examples and data to support your points about the disadvantages of increased flights, such as statistics on carbon emissions from airplanes and their specific impact on global warming. This will make your argument more persuasive and detailed.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph are clearly related to that main idea. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Consider introducing a counterpoint to your argument about the disadvantages of increased flights. This could provide balance and show a deeper understanding of the topic. After presenting the counterpoint, you could refute it by reinforcing your main argument. This strategy can enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To make your essay more engaging, vary your sentence structures more. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to create a more interesting and dynamic text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: