IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement protecting the environment is the responsibility of government use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#environment #responsibility #government #support
In
this
 21st century,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
protection
 is a global agenda. Many
people
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that the responsibility to save nature is of
government
. I Partially agree with
this
 statement. For
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 simple reason that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many other things are
also
 responsible for it. In
further
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 I will mention some of the reasons to explain my opinion. A good reason to support the statement that
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 responsibility is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should maintain
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 percentage of forest areas to maintain a good quality of
air
. To elaborate,
central
Add an article
the central
show examples
government
 should make the rules
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 maintaining the proportion of Woodland in every state.
Moreover
, they can
also
 carry out some projects related to aforestation and strict punishment should be implemented on cutting down of trees without the permission of
government
 authorities. Another reason worth mentioning is that, implementing
a strict rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
strict rules
a strict rule
show examples
 for companies and factories.
In other words
, different firms which
throws
Change the verb form
throw
show examples
 out their polluted
air
 and chemicalised water without purifying them should be punished with huge
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 or by ceiling them. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result all the factories will release their polluted
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
air
 and water after purifying them
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will mitigate
air
 water and land pollution.
On the other hand
, there are some responsibilities related to
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
protection
 for local
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
.
Firstly
,
people
 can keep their area clean. To be more precious, by throwing their waste into dustbins
people
 can protect their nearby land from losing their fertility.
Secondly
,
people
 can
use
 natural products. Explaining it
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 simple terms,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of plastic products is harmful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. So,
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to
use
 more
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
show examples
 friendly products.
In addition
use
 of solar power, e-bikes and electronic
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 can be used to reduce the
use
 of fuse and
air
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
To conclude
,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
protection
 is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
as well as
 of citizens.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can only
carries
Correct subject-verb agreement
carry
show examples
 out good projects and rules but,
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to respect them and
obeying
Wrong verb form
obey
show examples
 their elected authority to protect the
environment
.
Submitted by tpatel.291105 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses the prompt with a clear stance throughout and consistently develops your argument with detailed examples. Pay attention to elaboration on your points to fully answer the question.
task achievement
Increase the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph presents a single, focused argument that is directly linked to your overall position on the topic. This will strengthen the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a coherent logical structure by planning your paragraphs well. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea.
coherence cohesion
To improve the introduction and conclusion, make sure they clearly state your thesis and summarise your main arguments, respectively. This will help frame your essay for the reader and provide a satisfying closure.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the cohesion within and between your paragraphs, use a variety of transition words and phrases that clearly show the relationship between ideas, arguments, and sections of your essay.
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