Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Countemporary
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Contemporary
world, a rising number of individuals are seeking
subsitute
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substitute
medicine and
treatment
for their health
concerns'
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concerns
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other than
visithing
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visiting
their usual doctor. In my conviction ,
this
leads to
wrong
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the wrong
show examples
diagnosis of illnesses by unregulated medical
practisioners
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practitioners
complicating the problem.
Thus
, I believe
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
notion
as
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a
show examples
negative development. First and foremost,
non contemporary
Add a hyphen
non-contemporary
show examples
medical
practises
Correct your spelling
practices
show examples
lead to
inacurate
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inaccurate
diagnoses. These
practisioners
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practitioners
, most of the time
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper training and good
theoritical
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theoretical
knowledge, and they practise upon their experiences'
while
Correct word choice
which
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it
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apply
show examples
can
leads
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lead
show examples
to a
mis-diagnosis
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misdiagnosis
easily.
For example
,
according to
data that had been
publisheed
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published
by Peradeniya General Hospital ,
SriLanka
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Sri Lanka
show examples
,there
had been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
1000 cases in 2023
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maltreatment by village
practisioners
Correct your spelling
practitioners
.
Therefore
,
this
is a great problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the medical system of the country.
Furthermore
, these individuals are not regulated by a proper legal body in most
teritories
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territories
whereas
, proper medical doctors are always governed and regulated by a medical council in a country.
Therefore
, proper doctors
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
resposible
Correct your spelling
responsible
for their medicine and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
treatment
while
these people are not.
For instance
, in the
COVID -19
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COVID-19
era
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era,
show examples
a village
unathorised
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unauthorised
unauthorized
practiosioner
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practitioner
had prescribed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup and
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of people took the
mecidine
Correct your spelling
medicine
and ended up with the infection
while
government
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the government
show examples
not
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was not
show examples
involved
to regulate
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in regulating
show examples
it.
Hence
,
non regulation
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non-regulation
show examples
is a major drawback in these
treatment
procedures. In conclusion, substitute medical
treatment
can lead to wrong
diagnosis
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diagnoses
show examples
and maltreatment by unobserved doctors harming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor patients .
Hence
,
this
writer is of the strong notion that
Correct article usage
the searches
show examples
searches
Fix the agreement mistake
search
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
alternative medicine for illness
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a negative trend.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction could be more engaging by presenting the issue more vividly before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay has a logical structure, connecting phrases such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Consequently' can help improve coherence.
task achievement
Aim to address both sides of the argument before presenting your conclusion. This will demonstrate a more complete understanding of the issue and contribute to a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay. Avoid repeating phrases and focus on using synonyms and more complex grammatical structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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