Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The concern about how
children
need to be educated is rising above expectations these days.
While
are those who consider that being influenced and guided by parents or guardians would be a more successful way. Others prefer to leave
this
responsibility to educational institutions.
This
essay agrees with the point of view considering parental influence, as a key factor to teach offspring how to become respectful members of community. On the one hand, Parental guidance is the most effective method to influence offering important values to the next generation, providing counselling and emotional support when
children
are dealing with certain situations due the external inputs from
society
.
For example
, a conflict occurred between two kids during a long journey at school,
as a result
, the kid would bring
this
issue to their parents so
then
, together analyse what happened and find a solution with the experience of an adult and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
into consideration the feelings of the kid.
However
,
this
action only can be conducted properly for those who really
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
and understand the behaviour of
this
person without being in a stressful situation rather than being inside a classroom.
On the other hand
, educational institutions play a really important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education, because of the number of hours
children
spend under their roof following standard teaching procedures dictated with the purpose to influence on a set-up way to each kid.
For instance
, Montessori schools and high schools are developing specific techniques on how to teach students and make them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-prepared
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
once they will need to appear
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
the outcome would be great and
children
with an extraordinary academic formation.
Does
Correct pronoun usage
This does
show examples
not mean
children
are going to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modal
Correct your spelling
model
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of
society
without
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parental guidance which is essential during the learning process of
children
. In conclusion, analysing both ways to impact
children
in order to, become
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
good members
a good member
show examples
of
society
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
being said that even the educational institutions play an important role
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
that. Parents have the main key to make them reasonable and a model part of the community.
Submitted by jcambronbustos on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea, ensuring it is supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Aim for variety in sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, including discussing both views thoroughly and giving a clear, reasoned opinion.
task achievement
Elaborate your points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument and make your ideas more compelling.
task achievement
Be more explicit and clear in your introductions and conclusions to leave a stronger impression on the reader and better encapsulate your viewpoints.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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