Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that participating in
sports
encourages children to be competitive
while
others argue that it educates them
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to
work
on a
team
.
This
essay will discuss how
sports
can develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitiveness and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
in children and why a balance of both is necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them.
To begin
with, participating in
sport activity
Fix the agreement mistake
sports activities
show examples
can help kids develop their competitiveness. During
this
activity, they can learn the importance of hard
work
and determination in order to win. It
also
motivates them to do better than their
last
game and achieve new goals.
For instance
, Michael Jordan was deemed to be not good enough to play basketball on his school varsity. And
this
became his motivation to strive harder. To
this
day, he is one of the greatest basketball
player
Change to a plural noun
players
show examples
of
all-time
Correct your spelling
all time
show examples
.
Thus
, being competitive is good with the right amount.
On the other hand
,
sports
can help children how to
work
with other teammates. It will teach them that it is easier to share workloads with others.
This
can help them know the strengths and weaknesses of others and the things they can contribute in order to achieve their goal.
For example
, in
football
Add a comma
football,
show examples
it requires a
team
to succeed. Each player
have
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has
show examples
their
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
such
as the center and
goal keeper
Correct your spelling
goalkeeper
show examples
. They all
work
together in order to score.
Hence
, playing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sports
can educate kids about the importance of working in a
team
. In conclusion, competitiveness and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
can be learned through
sports
. A balance of both can have significant benefits in their lives.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, introducing each viewpoint individually before merging them into your own opinion. This helps in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear introduction stating the essay topics and your thesis. Make sure your conclusion summarizes the discussed views and clearly states your opinion, reinforcing the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Providing specific, real-life instances can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
Address the task by discussing both viewpoints equally and providing a clear, personal opinion. Make sure your response fully covers all aspects of the prompt for a comprehensive answer.
Task Response
Enhance task achievement by ensuring that your ideas are comprehensive and well-explained. Your opinion should be evident and supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
Task Response
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While some are provided, expanding on these or incorporating additional, relevant examples can further enhance your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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