Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people argue that participating in
sports
encourages children to be competitive while
others argue that it educates them on how to work
on a team. This
essay will discuss how sports
can develop competitiveness and teamwork in children and I believe that a balance of both is necessary for them.
To begin
with, participating in sports
activities can help kids develop their competitiveness. During this
activity, they can learn the importance of hard work
and determination in order to win. It also
motivates them to do better than their last
game and achieve new goals. For instance
, Michael Jordan was deemed to be not good enough to play basketball on his school varsity. And this
became his motivation to strive harder. To this
day, he is one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Thus
, being competitive is good with the right amount.
On the other hand
, sports
can help children how to work
with other teammates. It will teach them that it is easier to share workloads with others. This
can help them know the strengths and weaknesses of others and the things they can contribute in order to achieve their goal. For example
, in football, it requires a team to succeed. Each player has their role such
as the center and goalkeeper. They all work
together in order to score. Hence
, playing sports
can educate kids about the importance of working in a team.
In conclusion, competitiveness and teamwork can be learned through sports
. I believe that a balance of both can have significant benefits in their lives.Submitted by yoko.onerom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Language Use
To further improve your essay, consider diversifying your language and sentence structures more to add complexity and depth to your writing. Avoid repetition and try to implement a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic.
Specific Examples
Incorporate more detailed and varied examples to support your points. While your essay does include examples, adding more specificity and diversity can make your arguments stronger and more compelling.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good level of task response by covering both views and providing your opinion. However, make sure that the opinion is stated more prominently and is developed throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, for a stronger argumentative stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay's coherence and cohesion are commendable as it has a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. To enhance this further, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph flows neatly into the next with clear topic sentences.