Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people argue that participating in

sports

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encourages children to be competitive

while

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others argue that it educates them on how to

work

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on a team.

This

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essay will discuss how

sports

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can develop competitiveness and teamwork in children and I believe that a balance of both is necessary for them.

To begin

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with, participating in

sports

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activities can help kids develop their competitiveness. During

this

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activity, they can learn the importance of hard

work

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and determination in order to win. It

also

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motivates them to do better than their

last

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game and achieve new goals.

For instance

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, Michael Jordan was deemed to be not good enough to play basketball on his school varsity. And

this

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became his motivation to strive harder. To

this

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day, he is one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

Thus

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, being competitive is good with the right amount.

On the other hand

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sports

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can help children how to

work

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with other teammates. It will teach them that it is easier to share workloads with others.

This

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can help them know the strengths and weaknesses of others and the things they can contribute in order to achieve their goal.

For example

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, in football, it requires a team to succeed. Each player has their role

such

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as the center and goalkeeper. They all

work

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together in order to score.

Hence

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, playing

sports

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can educate kids about the importance of working in a team. In conclusion, competitiveness and teamwork can be learned through

sports

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. I believe that a balance of both can have significant benefits in their lives.

yoko.oneromMon Mar 11 2024

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Language Use

To further improve your essay, consider diversifying your language and sentence structures more to add complexity and depth to your writing. Avoid repetition and try to implement a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic.

Specific Examples

Incorporate more detailed and varied examples to support your points. While your essay does include examples, adding more specificity and diversity can make your arguments stronger and more compelling.

Task Response

Your essay demonstrates a good level of task response by covering both views and providing your opinion. However, make sure that the opinion is stated more prominently and is developed throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, for a stronger argumentative stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay's coherence and cohesion are commendable as it has a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. To enhance this further, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph flows neatly into the next with clear topic sentences.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that innovation should be targeted towards addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to a hotel manager to inform that you are coming with a group of people to have a business meeting at his hotel: Introduce yourself and the group Tell about the business meeting Inform if accommodation is necessary