Some people think sense of competition in children should be encouraged, other believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Give your own opinion.

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In today's world, achieving first place is often equated with being the best.

However

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, it's widely acknowledged that attaining

such

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a position requires significant team support.

While

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some argue that fostering a competitive spirit in children is beneficial, others believe that cultivating a sense of cooperation is more conducive to developing well-adjusted adults.

This

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essay will examine both perspectives and offer my own viewpoint on

this

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issue.

Firstly

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, encouraging competition can yield numerous benefits, including resilience, improved performance, and self-awareness.

Consequently

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, children who are encouraged to compete may achieve a wider range of goals.

For instance

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, in physical education classes, students learn rules, discipline, and sportsmanship—qualities often associated with athletes, who are inherently competitive. In

such

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environments, pupils learn that achieving their objectives necessitates effort and a competitive drive, characteristics that propel them towards greater success.

Conversely

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, an excessive focus on competition can lead to stress, frequent disappointment, and mood fluctuations.

As a result

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, even simple daily tasks can become challenging. From

this

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standpoint, fostering cooperation during childhood is essential for

successful

Correct article usage

a successful

show examples

adult life.

For example

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, in the face of a natural disaster like Cyclone Alfred, cooperative individuals are more likely to prioritize collective survival and provide aid, sharing resources to overcome the crisis. In conclusion,

while

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individual competitors may achieve first place, they often do so in isolation. In my opinion, a balance between competition and cooperation is crucial for a thriving society. The ability to strive for personal achievement

while

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simultaneously working collaboratively is the ideal combination for a fulfilling and successful life.

Marília Bortoluz RechFri Mar 21 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider expanding on the examples provided to give more depth to your arguments. For instance, when discussing cooperation during natural disasters, including specific examples or statistics could strengthen your point.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on ensuring that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, using linking phrases at the beginning of paragraphs can help guide the reader through your arguments.

Task Achievement

While you've made a strong argument for the balance between competition and cooperation, it could be beneficial to clarify or elaborate on how this balance can be achieved in practical terms, perhaps through educational programs or policy changes.

Content

Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for your argument, indicating both perspectives clearly.

Content

You have presented a balanced view, acknowledging both the merits of competition and the importance of cooperation, which adds depth to your analysis.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Some people think sense of competition in children should be encouraged, other believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Give your own opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe use of computers and smartphones negatively impacts the reading and speaking skills of young people.

If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose ?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young adults who decide to do this.