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Band 5

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #bicycle #transportation
There is no doubt that using transportation namely
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 helps in many ways
such
 as
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 of fossil fuels into the atmosphere and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
improve one's physical health.
However
, some arguments
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
among the public
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that it has many demerits.In the next paragraph , I will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views and provide my own opinion.
To begin
 with,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 using a bicycle as our main form of transportation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surely
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages.First,in
this
 new era compared to the past decade , our air is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 as clean as
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 can be seen through the data that have
being
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
 collected by the researchers.
For example
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
large amounts of carbon
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 cars and other vehicles have
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to air pollution and global warming.
In addition
,
this
 can help to reduce air pollution
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.Next,
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 to mention,
this
 can
also
 help to build one's strength by cycling to other destinations because cycling is
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
 exercise that
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 good stamina.
Hence
,
this
 can lower the rates of traffic congestion and
cost-effective
Add a missing verb
be cost-effective
show examples
.
For example
,
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 has lower maintenance fees compared to other
vechicles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
.
On the other hand
,there are
also
 some disadvantages of
this
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 which
involving
Wrong verb form
involve
show examples
 the safety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cyclists.There is no guarantee for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicyclists to
cycling
Wrong verb form
cycle
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 safe environment if the distance and the weather are harsh.
For example
, cars are more suitable for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 and
safest
Add a missing verb
are safest
show examples
 during
raining
Replace the word
rainy
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
. In conclusion, In my opinion, the phenomenon of the merits far outweigh the drawbacks , especially considering the urgent need for
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 awareness and
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 benefits of cycling.I believe that with help from the government and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 by investing
proper
Change preposition
in proper
show examples
infrastruture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 and safety measures,the disadvantages can be prevented.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Structure
Ensure to have a well-structured essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should provide a brief overview of the topic and your position. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point, supported with examples or explanations. Conclude by summarizing the main points and stating your opinion firmly.
Coherence
To improve coherence, make use of linking words to smoothly transition between ideas and sentences within paragraphs. This enhances the flow of information and keeps the reader engaged throughout the essay.
Example Relevance
Increase the depth and variety of your examples to better illustrate your points. While the provided examples are relevant, offering more detailed or diverse instances can enhance the persuasive power of your argument. Consider drawing from a wider range of sources or hypothetical situations to strengthen your case.
Grammar and Spelling
Watch out for spelling and grammatical mistakes. Errors such as 'emmision' instead of 'emission', 'dicuss' instead of 'discuss', and misuse of commas and periods can distract the reader and impact the clarity of your message. Regular proofreading and practice can help minimize these errors.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • motorized vehicles
  • traffic congestion
  • cost-effective
  • sense of community
  • harsh weather conditions
  • road accidents
  • physical disabilities
  • sustainable practices
  • health benefits
  • infrastructure
  • feasible option
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