IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary societies, the debate over whether individuals should be free to
utilize
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utilise
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water
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 resources or whether
such
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 use should be strictly regulated by governments remains a matter of ongoing controversy. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on both sides of the argument and elucidate the reasons why I align with the latter view. Notably, the notion that independence on
water
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 usage may entail several benefits. The primary advantage lies in the promotion of
overall
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 well-being. When residents are granted unrestricted
access
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 to freshwater based on their personal demands, they can improve living conditions and sustain small-scale livelihoods. Indubitably,
such
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access
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 fosters not only physical health through proper sanitation but
also
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 psychological comfort, as citizens feel empowered to manage their own basic resources.
For instance
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, with adequate clean
water
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, families can comfortably maintain hygiene and ensure health for their children.
This
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 clearly shows that
water
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 independence plays a crucial role in enhancing the inhabitants’ quality of life.
Conversely
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, the excessive and unregulated use of
water
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 can result in significant drawbacks. The first tangible downside is the depletion of natural resources. Undoubtedly, the overexploitation may exhaust underground aquifers and rivers, which leaves future generations with limited
access
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 to freshwater for consumption and agriculture, leading to long-term scarcity and an imbalance in resource distribution. Another incontrovertible disadvantage is that environmental degradation is caused by the overuse of clean
water
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. Doubtlessly, uncontrolled groundwater extraction may accelerate land subsidence and saltwater intrusion.
As a result
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, the consequences pose serious threats to the environment by disrupting natural ecosystems and diminishing biodiversity. In conclusion,
while
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 enabling individuals
access
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 to freshwater without administrative restriction may contribute to elevating living standards, its drawbacks are far more pressing. I firmly believe that strict governmental regulation is indispensable for ensuring
water
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 management and preserving ecological balance for sustainable global growth

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task
Make ideas clearer and tie them to the task. Each paragraph should show a clear view and support it.
coherence
Use more simple link words to show how ideas fit together. This helps the flow.
content
Give more strong, specific examples from real life or plain facts to back up points.
grammar
Check words and sentence form to avoid long or hard phrases. Use simple, plain English.
task response
Clear view on the issue.
structure
Good overall structure with intro, body and conclusion.
cohesion
Some good linking of sides to the main view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Human right
  • Resource scarcity
  • Economic productivity
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Equitable distribution
  • Monopolization
  • Public health
  • Sustainability
  • Government regulation
  • Hygiene
  • Water quality
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