IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that homework is not necessary for students’ development. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #homework #students’ #development
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Homework
 is one of the signature
of
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apply
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times in high school. Especially in many Asian countries,
homework
 is the most important
ways
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way
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 that can not be replaced by any other methods of
practicing
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practising
show examples
 to achieve higher grades.
However
, I personally do not agree that
homework
 is necessary for
students
. Finishing
homework
 is wasting
time
. Each student has their own aptitude, and they will develop their best if they are allowed to do things they have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 passion
on
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for
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.
However
, in schools,
students
 have to
learning
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learn
show examples
 numerous subjects, even
there
Correct word choice
if there
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 are subjects they totally do not want to
learning
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learn
show examples
 to spend their
times
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time
show examples
.
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on.
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 But they have to spend their
time
 finishing relevant
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
.
This
 leads to the
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 that they can not explore as much as
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 their passion and their potential talents, which narrows down their mind and their interest.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, giving
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 is one of the factors causing stress in
students
.
Students
 in high schools, especially in Asian countries, usually spend approximately 6 hours a day
to study
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studying
show examples
 in class. After that long day of learning, they go back home with numerous exercises which
teacher
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the teacher
show examples
 assigns.
Then
 they spend all their evening doing
homework
. In
the
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apply
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other words, they have no
time
 to entertain, no
time
 to talk with their parents
,
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apply
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 and no
time
 to live their life.
This
 results in
high
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a high
the high
show examples
 number of
students
 being
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 during their high school.
To conclude
, I totally disagree that
students
 need
homework
 to develop their
study
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studies
show examples
. I believe leaving them free
time
 after school is the best way for their development.
Submitted by nghiangh on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for a more impactful argument.
task response
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea, followed by examples or further explanation to support your view. Your essay lacks specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical manner. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should seamlessly connect, contributing to better logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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