we live in a world of technology these days. While the Internet brings it with clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the coming days, technology has played an imperative role in every activity which makes
it
easier our life Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as Add an article
the internet
internet
. By using the Capitalize word
Internet
internet
our lives are more convenient and comfortable. However
, several peoples
believe that Fix the agreement mistake
people
internet
has some serious problems to consider about security Correct article usage
the internet
data
and control information
. I partially agree with this
position for a variety of reasons.
There are a lot of arguments that support the idea of
the Change preposition
that
internet
has numerous pros in our lives. Firstly
, the biggest reason of advantage is that people are brought together around the corner of the world which helps them to share their information
and exchange ideas like insta and Facebook because in the modern world of technology, everyone has to access online platforms, it will help them for who are living in the remote of the era. For instance
, in my experiences during in-
coved pandemic my school closed for 1 year Correct determiner usage
the
then
I joined with online
platform Add an article
an online
the online
such
Zoom application. so, I took my books in
Change preposition
on
online
platform because I was living Correct article usage
an online
in
Change preposition
apply
a
far away and I couldn’t afford to come city. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, in this
decade, people make easier connect
with a net.
On another Fix the infinitive
to connect
hand
there is some evidence to explore that the Add a comma
hand,
internet
has drawbacks especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
about
Change preposition
in
data
breaches. nowadays most people are using social platforms and many of them they
don’t have any comfort zone for posting codes Correct pronoun usage
apply
and
pictures or personal Correct word choice
apply
information
. Moreover
, it will be a greater risk of
their life in the future. Because they put their private Change preposition
to
information
and personal data
with any prohibition. For example
, in my experience I used to be online
platform for a long time Add an article
an online
the online
such
as Facebook I put my picture as result
some hackers Correct article usage
a result
hack
my photo into their own account. Wrong verb form
hacked
As a result
, internet
has serious Add an article
the internet
problem
with security Fix the agreement mistake
problems
information
.
In conclusion, the advancement of the technology and internet
has critical
Add an article
a critical
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
rule
which Fix the agreement mistake
rules
make
it easier in our daily Change the verb form
makes
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
how ever
it Correct your spelling
however
has
some corns Verb problem
are
Change preposition
about
to
cybersecurity and creepy behaviour Change preposition
about
such
as hacking our private data
.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a clear structure for your essay with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help your essay to logically progress from one point to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion effectively introduce and summarize your main points. They should clearly state your position and briefly outline the reasons behind your viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. Avoid generalizations by including details and evidence wherever possible.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly in your introduction, stating your opinion clearly on the given statement. Remember to restate your viewpoint in the conclusion to make your stance clear.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully in each paragraph. Aim for clarity in your argumentation, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples.
General Advice
Include a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. Avoid repetitive language and strive for precision in your choice of words.