Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.

#people #aim #sales #products

These days, some people think that advertising-based targets are enhancing the percentages of sales quality and making money from adverts which are not necessary for human needs. I entirely disagree with

this

objection because advertising one of the most common things in

this

modern era and

this

helps to improve the life cycle some look for a different type of products, which are medical, commercial, and it may be residential despite the fact that some of the ads give detrimental effect to young children's mental health and lead to negative consequences

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Mon Mar 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction. Your argument should be clear from the beginning, allowing the reader to understand your perspective immediately.

Task Response

Develop your ideas more thoroughly. While you touch on important points (the role of advertising, potential negative effects), these need to be elaborated on with specific examples and clearer argumentation to support your thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more logically. It should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs (each focusing on a single main idea with supporting evidence or examples), and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

91 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?
In some parts of the US, a rule which is named "Curfew", claims teenagers right to be outside the house after a certain hour in the evening without any adult beside them. I believe this is a good one and is helping to protect youth from dangers.
4
band
Some people are happy to stay in the same area for their whole life, while others prefer living in many different places. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true that some prefer to live in one place through their whole life which makes them happy , however, other people like to try living in many different locations. Although people by maintaining their position when settling down , have a static social life and they claim moving is so hard, however the majority and I believe that when moving to other places to live people can try different experiences and find many other friends. So I believe living in different places is worth it.
8
band
Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?
Many folks spend their lifetime in jobs for which they have no liking and for which they are not suitable.This essay will discuss the reasons behind this tendency and the outcomes of such a scenario.
6.5
band
Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Paper-based examinations have long been part of complex educational compatibility tests. A majority of people contend with the notion that this methodology is not the most pragmatic way of measuring success in education centres. It is my contention that although handwritten exams are still popular in both schools and universities to validate someone's ability in education, I advocate that participating in case studies or problem-based exams is the most reliable method for conducting an educational background assessment.
7
band
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people argue that ordinary citizens have limited capacity to bring about environmental improvements, and only governments and big corporations can truly make a difference in environmental conservation. I partially disagree with this viewpoint, as I still believe in individuals' actions.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?

Some people are happy to stay in the same area for their whole life, while others prefer living in many different places. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?