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Writing Samples /
Band 5

A friend of yours recently gave you a nice birthday present. Write a letter to your friend. • Thank them for the present and say why you particularly like it • describe what other presents you received • explain what other things you did

#friend #birthday
Dear Sandy, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. I'm writing to thank you for the amazing gift you sent me
this
 week. I'm deeply grateful for you remembering my birthday and sending me a lovely gift
,
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 since we live so far away from each other. In fact, I was going to buy a new
watercolor
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watercolour
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 set myself, but the one you gave to me has
a
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much better quality as the pigments are a lot more vibrant than the other brand I was intending to purchase and I think
this
 new set is going to
last
 a lot longer as well. In
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 news, let me tell you about the other gifts I got that day. Well, my mother went ahead and gave me the exact
Ipad
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iPad
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 I was saving money to buy
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the entire year! And guess what, my father found
this
 straight calico kitty in the street near his office and he brought it home with the cutest collar around its neck with my name on it! He said he knew I wanted a cat for so long and he decided to
gave
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give
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 up his grumpiness about pets when he saw its emerald-colored eyes. After that, they took me to my
favorite
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favourite
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 sushi restaurant and ordered everything on the menu!
Furthermore
, we went to the UCI
theater
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theatre
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 to watch the newest Ghibli movie and even my father loved it. I really wish you were here. Hopefully, you may be able to join us
in-person
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in person
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 next year. Yours sincerely, Anne Cole
Submitted by amandacflago23 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your score, try to vary your sentence structures and employ a wider range of vocabulary. This will make your writing even more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
You might consider including more specific details or personal anecdotes related to the present and the impact it had on you, to strengthen the personal tone of the letter and deepen the connection with the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherished memory
  • symbolic gesture
  • personal growth
  • unique qualities
  • unwavering support
  • profound impact
  • joy and prosperity
  • treasured moments
  • heartfelt wishes
  • lasting happiness
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