IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that when designing a building, the most important thing to be considered is the function rather than the appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #function #appearance
A certain number of individuals give priority to the function when conceiving a building
instead
 of
appearance
. I concur
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 opinion
although
 there are some benefits brought
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
appearance
. A well-functional building greatly improves the utilization rate so that
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 full use of the various resources
such
 as finance, architectural materials and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
. Take the library
for example
, the main purpose of a library is to provide a venue where the public can read and study. Good facilities
such
 as comfortable chairs, adequate computers for searching and good quality books and periodicals, will attract citizens to visit frequently, which satisfies the original intention
however
 the beautiful
appearance
 may attract the public only once.
Furthermore
, well-functional buildings extend the service time and secure safety. It is indispensable to ensure the inner systems are strong enough to suffer from various weather conditions,
such
 as a waterproof functional roof for rain and an air circulation system for air pollution. Concentrating on outward
appearance
 and ignoring its inner function, in the worst case, can lead to a risk of collapse when facing extreme weather events.
On the other hand
, the attractive
appearance
 may promote the local tourist economy. In light of the rapid development of social media, young tourists are keen to explore landmark buildings which are good-looking
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outward so that they can share pictures on the internet.
As a consequence
, more and more tourists will be attracted by those sharing and eventually
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
this
 place.
Overall
, function is the most significant factor that should be considered because not only does it promote a higher utilization rate but
also
 it safeguards the property
although
 the economic benefit brought from outward
appearance
 should not be ignored.
Submitted by 848033678 on

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Task Response
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed with examples or explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance clarity by using a wider range of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Balance the discussion of both views (function and appearance) throughout the essay, not just towards the end, to fully address the prompt.
Task Response
Consider adding a counterexample or a refutation paragraph to strengthen the argument about prioritizing function over appearance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use more precise vocabulary to describe architectural features and benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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