A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Most of the public believes that the citizen's
health
is totally responsible for themselves, instead
of giving it
to the Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
's hands. From my perspective, I partially agree with the statement. However
, the government
should also
take a few responsibilities for the public. So, I will discuss the topic on both the side of agree and disagree point of view.
Starting from the positive point of view. It is true that people
should take their own responsibility for taking care
of themselves, instead
of looking for helping hands for basic treatments. Nowadays, citizens are totally engaged with
their employment and other necessary activities. Change preposition
in
Likewise
, they are supposed to show the same eagerness to maintain their body health
, which plays a huge role in protecting them from diseases. Furthermore
, when a person take
Change the verb form
takes
care
of themselves are more protected, when compared with other categories of people
. As a result
, it helps to increase their life span. For example
, most doctors say that a person who cares about his or her own health
is like to live without causing any infections. As a result
, it helps them to save a lot of money in their bank account.
On the other hand
, the government
should not neglect its responsibility to protect the public from harmful diseases. Even though, people
are responsible for their own health
. The government
should take care
of the public by introducing public schemes such
as free health
care
treatment for the people
who live below the poverty line,
and providing some tax exemption for medical expenses. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, the ruling party are supposed to take action for school-going people
by providing mid-day meals and monthly medical checkups, which make them to be
fit and healthy. Verb problem
apply
For instance
, most data analysts found that the government
that
provides a tremendous amount of free healthcare schemes are utilised by the public, which helps them at both financial and Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
levels.
In a nutshell, it is important that both the government
and the public should take action against their health
conditions. In my opinion, I suggest the government
create awareness about health
checkups for the public. As a result
, they will be protected from serious viruses like cancer.Submitted by jeevesh001 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins clearly stating the main topic or argument it intends to cover. This will improve logical structure by making the text more organized and easier for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Try to more explicitly link sentences and paragraphs together using cohesive devices such as conjunctions (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition'), pronouns ('this', 'it'), and lexical chains. This will improve the cohesion and flow of your text.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, work on making your conclusion more reflective of the overall discussion in the essay. Restate your position clearly and summarise the key points debated to strengthen the overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure to fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should reflect a balanced discussion of the topic, with a clear, final stance on the issue. Be sure to also clearly address how much you agree or disagree with the statement in your conclusion.
task achievement
Aim for your ideas to be clearer and more comprehensive by expanding on them with detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. This strengthens your arguments and makes the essay more compelling.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. These examples can be drawn from your personal experience, observations, or from credible sources. Specific examples can greatly help in clarifying and validating your arguments.