IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that companies who sponsor big games can gain a lot; other people believe that it has disadvantages for them. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #companies #sponsor #games #gain
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A controversial debate is initiated between two different points of view, some may feel that firms who fund vast matches are increasingly beneficial for both parties, through the significant rise of profits, which I will explain
furthermore
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
while
Linking Words
 there is an argument that its demerits overraced its merits. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both points of view, and
at the end
Linking Words
, I will drop in my own perspective. On one side of the coin, massive companies
such
Linking Words
 as Nike and Adidas, gain profits beyond the expenses of marketing. To illustrate, numerous populations look up to football players as their role models,
Therefore
Linking Words
, if a player wears one of a single enterprise
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
,
consequently
Linking Words
, their fans will follow him with a blind eye. To give an example, when Messi first wore for Adidas, their profits increased by nearly 85%, which assisted the company in bouncing back to the hazardous competition and improving proficiency in their products. On the other side of the coin, some argue that it has disadvantages for them, and
this
Linking Words
 given statement has various justifications.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it puts the business under high pressure to entertain and give the customers what they have expected,
therefore
Linking Words
, sharply increasing the expenses.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in order to sponsor a game or a player, the entity must pay a vast amount of figures that can lead the firm into bankruptcy in the near future. In conclusion, sponsoring big games has more merits than demerits, and it is impactful for both parties and can improve the experience
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a high level of efficiency
Submitted by anfal.alnajdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain how each point relates to the topic to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed evaluation of both sides to fully achieve the task response.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of both viewpoints.
supported main points
Good use of a real-life example with Messi and Adidas to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • brand exposure
  • viewership
  • prime opportunity
  • corporate sponsorship
  • foster
  • positive association
  • consumer perception
  • brand loyalty
  • financial cost
  • return on investment
  • profitable
  • financial burden
  • negative association
  • controversy
  • doping scandals
  • lucrative marketing move
  • upfront costs
  • potential risks
  • consumer loyalty
  • financial resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: