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Writing Samples
Band 5

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Nowadays, grown edibles are frequently transported by aircraft to nations that do not have access to them. There are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
 method of delivery
such
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 as environmental pollution as a drawback and countries relying on imported foods
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 a benefit
due to
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 the fact some crops are not grown in those places. To start with the pluses of transporting edibles by the
air
Use synonyms
 is that many nations around the globe where they do not harvest
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, rely on
this
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 as their source of nourishment .
In other words
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, independent states depend on imported edibles as their territory cannot grow fruits and vegetables
due to
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 environmental reasons or their ground can cultivate them only during particular seasons.
For example
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, Syria is dependent on shipped food
due to
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 their land being deserts and armed conflicts in their sovereign state that made it increasingly difficult to produce crops.
On the other hand
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,
downside
Add an article
the downside
a downside
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 to importing foods by
air
Use synonyms
 is that airplanes cause dirty
air
Use synonyms
. Transport crafts burn a large amount of fuel, which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in carbon emissions that contribute to global warming.
This
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 is
further
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 compounded by the fact that the high
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
 for exported crops would lead to
upsurge
Add an article
an upsurge
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of dangerous pesticides
herbicides
Correct word choice
and herbicides
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 which would
further
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 damage the environment.
For instance
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, farmers in Spain use glyphosate herbicides and as
such
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 a plethora of waterways are contaminated with these chemicals. In conclusion, there are both good and bad to bring in fruits and vegetables by
air
Use synonyms
such
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 as imported foods providing sustenance to poor countries,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
 it pollutes the
air
Use synonyms
 by carbon
emissons
Correct your spelling
emissions
 and hazardous farming practices.

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion or overview of the advantages and disadvantages. This sets a solid foundation for your essay.
Specific Examples
Try to provide more specific and diverse examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
Balanced Discussion
Balance the development of advantages and disadvantages more evenly to ensure a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Vocabulary
Mind the use of synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition and enrich your vocabulary. This also demonstrates your language proficiency.
Logical Structure
You provided a clear structure, making your essay easy to follow.
Cohesion
Good job on linking your ideas and paragraphs, which aids in the coherence of your essay.
Task Response
You effectively addressed the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages related to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • export
  • import
  • perishable goods
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • supply chain disruptions
  • economic benefits
  • culinary experiences
  • broader market
  • local produce
  • agricultural industries
  • external sources
  • competition
  • outcompete
  • vulnerable
  • high costs
  • freshness
  • accessibility
  • out of season
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