At the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It has been estimated these days that the proportion of young adults has accelerated compared with the number of aged people. It has both positive and negative impacts.But,I think that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages because new generations are more productive and more skilled to operate technology than older ones.
It is considered that youths are bringing a successful nation as they are more hard-working and
also
excel at handling modern techniques. On the one hand,they are more energetic than aged
society so Correct article usage
the aged
that
they are able to work long-time both in physical and mental activities. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, they are physically fit, but with increasing age,public
may suffer from various diseases Add an article
the public
such
as diabetes, heart problems and so on.For instance
-Google recommended young adults for their development of companies. Furthermore
, they are expanding the field of science. That's why,NASA deals with youths. As a result
, new inventions are increasing and the progress of the world is as possible which was just thinking of passing community.For example
-software development, networking programs, Microsoft Excel etc.
On the other hand
,older
community are Correct article usage
the older
mentors
of the freshers.Because they are experienced and sacrificing. Without their guidelines, it is difficult for an employee to deal with activities. As they are familiar with the working atmosphere. That's why they make decisions wisely Fix the agreement mistake
mentor
whereas
youngsters are impatient. Additionally
, they dedicate their valuable time to their work.Although
they play a vital role, with changing times they have to hand over their duties to new generations.
In conclusion, a rapid number of young people is observed in many countries and is beneficial for a country. Because they are more active and intelligent nowadays. So,the progress of the nation depends on them.Although
older have also
a large contribution, the advantages of having more young adults outweigh their disadvantages.Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more clearly by including distinct paragraphs for introduction, body (advantages and disadvantages), and conclusion. This will enhance the logical flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction, briefly outline the main points that will be discussed to give the reader a clear preview.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This could include contrasting connectors for discussing disadvantages.
task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question, clearly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and why. This will improve task response.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail. For instance, discuss specific innovations by young adults at Google or NASA to support your arguments better.
task achievement
Consider discussing the disadvantages in more detail to provide a balanced argument. This will not only show critical thinking but also enhance the task achievement score by fully exploring the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example