Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
,
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established nations should offer a different type of assistance to the needy countries contrary to financial
support
since the finance rendered does not resolve the poverty issue.
This
essay firmly agrees that an alternative method should be used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced countries.
Firstly
,
this
will render direct aid to those in need and
secondly
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
proper management of funds. To commence with, rendering
of
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the
support
required directly will be of great benefit to disadvantaged individuals as they will receive what they actually need
in-order
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
for them to survive.
For instance
, non-governmental organizations from developed nations have proven
this
strategy
work
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works
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out well by providing first-hand assistance
such
as free Antiretroviral drugs and food to infected citizens.
As a result
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
freely given needs has led to
well –being
Correct your spelling
the well–being
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of people affected by
Human
Correct article usage
the Human
show examples
Immuno-deficiency Virus.
Additionally
, it will enhance genuine revenue management. It is evident that the government officials have become greedy to the extent that the moment they receive cash to
support
their necessitous men and women they
instead
channel it to personal advantage
such
as enlarging their wealth.
For example
, resources borrowed to curb drought in some parts of Kenya never reach the intended users since
To conclude
, wealthy nations should re-strategize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their assistance to countries in need by not using financial resources for the reasons given above namely: misappropriation of funds and offering
an
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apply
show examples
indirect
support
required.
Therefore
I strongly concur with the phenomenon.
Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on

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task achievement
Evaluate the prompt thoroughly and ensure the response is complete. The essay's conclusion is truncated, which affects the overall completeness of the argument. A fully developed conclusion reinforces your stance and summarises the essay effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further. While you provided clear examples, expanding on these with further detail or analysis could enhance the response. For instance, the example of NGOs providing Antiretroviral drugs could be bolstered by discussing the impact this has had on the local population over time.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent structure throughout your essay. Use introductory sentences for each paragraph to outline the main point that will be discussed. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas logically flow from one to the next using transitional phrases or words. This helps in maintaining the logical structure of your essay and improves reader comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to paragraphing. Each main idea should be discussed in its own paragraph to keep the essay organized and make it easier for the reader to identify and understand your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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