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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.
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The first chart displays the major causes of global
land
Use synonyms
degradation
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. The second graph, how three regions of the world were affected by
deforestation
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,
over-cultivation
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, and over-grazing in the 1990s is depicted.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main reasons for worldwide
land
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degradation
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 were allocated to over-grazing,
deforestation
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, and
over-cultivation
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 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Europe had the highest share of farmland declaration than other regions.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, the biggest reason for global
land
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 decoration was devoted to our grazing, which is 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 30 and 28 % of the world's degraded
land
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 accounted for
deforestation
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 and
over-cultivation
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, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 that of other firm
land
Use synonyms
 decoration, which is not clearly specified (7%). The second graph shows Europe had the greatest proportion of
Use synonyms
degradation
Replace the word
degraded
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land
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 during the 1990s,at 23%, and the main causes there were
deforestation
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 (approximately 10%) and
over-cultivation
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 (about 8%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, North America had a lower proportion of
land
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degradation
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 at merely 5%, and the major reason for
this
Linking Words
were
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was
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 3.3%, to a lesser extent over-grazing (1.5%). Despite the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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over-grazing played the main role in
land
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degradation
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 in Oceania, which was 11.3%;
over-cultivation
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 had no contribution to
land
Use synonyms
degraded
Replace the word
degradation
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, deforestation, over-cultivation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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