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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.
The first chart displays the major causes of global
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
. The second graph, how three regions of the world were affected by
deforestation
Use synonyms
,
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
, and over-grazing in the 1990s is depicted.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main reasons for worldwide
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 were allocated to over-grazing,
deforestation
Use synonyms
, and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Europe had the highest share of farmland declaration than other regions.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, the biggest reason for global
land
Use synonyms
 decoration was devoted to our grazing, which is 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 30 and 28 % of the world's degraded
land
Use synonyms
 accounted for
deforestation
Use synonyms
 and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 that of other firm
land
Use synonyms
 decoration, which is not clearly specified (7%). The second graph shows Europe had the greatest proportion of
Use synonyms
degradation
Replace the word
degraded
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 during the 1990s,at 23%, and the main causes there were
deforestation
Use synonyms
 (approximately 10%) and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 (about 8%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, North America had a lower proportion of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 at merely 5%, and the major reason for
this
Linking Words
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 3.3%, to a lesser extent over-grazing (1.5%). Despite the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over-grazing played the main role in
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in Oceania, which was 11.3%;
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 had no contribution to
land
Use synonyms
degraded
Replace the word
degradation
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, deforestation, over-cultivation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • agricultural
  • land
  • productive
  • reasons
  • effects
  • regions
  • soil erosion
  • fertilizers
  • climate change
  • droughts
  • floods
  • farming practices
  • crop yields
  • nutrients
  • decreased
  • health
  • traditional
  • methods
  • areas
  • 1990s
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