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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
#show #land #three #regions #world
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The first chart displays the major causes of global
land
Use synonyms
degradation
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. The second graph, how three regions of the world were affected by forest clearance,
over-cultivation
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, and over-grazing in the 1990s, is depicted.
Overall
Linking Words
, the root cause
for
Change preposition
of
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 worldwide
land
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degradation
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 was allocated to over-grazing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Europe had the highest share of farmland
degradation
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 than other regions.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, the biggest reason for global
land
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degradation
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 was devoted to over-grazing, which is 35
percent
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per cent
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nearly one-third and 28 % of the world's degraded
land
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 accounted for forest clearance and
over-cultivation
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, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 that of other
firm
Fix the agreement mistake
firms
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 accounted for
land
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degradation
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, which is not clearly specified (7%). The second graph shows Europe had almost a quarter of its
land
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 degraded, and the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 are
due to
Linking Words
 deforestation (approximately one in ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and
over-cultivation
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 (about 8%). Despite the fact that over-grazing played
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial role in
land
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degradation
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 in Oceania, accounting for 11.3%;
over-cultivation
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 did not have any impact on the
land
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, 3.3% of
land
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 was destroyed
due to
Linking Words
over- grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
 in North America, meanwhile the figure for forest clearance stood at 0.2%.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, over-cultivation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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