IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong To what extent do you agree?

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Over the past few years, the issue of whether to eat
animals
Use synonyms
 for food has been widely debated,
although
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 a lot of
animals
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 are carnivores,there are several reasons why humans should not eat
meat
Use synonyms
. I will discuss both sides in the following essay.
It is clear that
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 most populations are not vegetarian, because
people
Use synonyms
 have been taught for a long time that
meat
Use synonyms
 is a good source of protein,it is an essential nutrition of human bodies.
Therefore
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,
people
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 will not doubt
this
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,and keep having
meat
Use synonyms
 in daily life. Another example is some places that are not well developed in agriculture,
such
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 as
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
 or even deserts, where the only sources of food are fish or camel
meat
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.
As a result
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, the
people
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 living there should hunt
animals
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 and use
meat
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 as a main food.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 are against eating
meat
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. There are several reasons
such
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 as life is sacred,killing
animals
Use synonyms
 is not ethical,they are human friends, veganism is more eco-friendly and healthy, except eating
meat
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,humans still can survive.
However
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, another benefit of not eating
meat
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 is that we can lead a healthier lifestyle
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because red
meat
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 contains a lot of fat,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 could lead to a chronic illness
such
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 as hypertension or diabetes. In conclusion,nowadays in society, vegetarianism and veganism
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more popular than before,it might be influenced by celebrities and other trends. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 society should pay more attention to
this
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 issue,care about
animals
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, and eat less
meat
Use synonyms
.
This
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 way
people
Use synonyms
 can lead healthy lives and our planet can be more peaceful.

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked, expressing a clear position throughout your response. Additionally, developing your arguments with specific examples or data can make your stance more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, try to enhance the logical flow of ideas by using a wider range of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs. It's also beneficial to revise the structure of your essay to ensure there is a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
structure
For a better structure, include a specific introduction paragraph that clearly states your thesis and an overview of the points you will discuss. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or evidence, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your position in line with the introduction.
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