IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

#plastic #bags #bottles #environment #damage #governments #individuals
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In
this
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 modern world, products and goods are being packaged usually via
plastic
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bags
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 and other kinds of
plastic
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 packages for consumers since
nylon
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 was discovered and widely used in the packaging industry.
This
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 way of preserving and covering goods causes several damages to the
environment
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 and our health. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the damage that the great masses of
plastic
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bags
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 cause and solutions for
this
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.
To begin
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, the sacks and bottles made of
nylon
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 can impact negatively our
environment
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.
Firstly
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, a study from one of the universities in the USA has proved that it takes more than 100 years for a
plastic
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 bag which was dumped in the
environment
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 to be recycled.
Also
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, every day, up to 50 tons of waste is disposed of in dumping areas. Ultimately,
this
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 will pollute our
environment
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.
Secondly
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, these kinds of packages made of
plastic
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 have negative effects on our health, apparently, it has been proved that water
that is
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 kept in
plastic
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 bottles could be quite poisoning when they are stored and exposed to the sun .
As a result
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, it can pose a threat to our health,
such
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 as a variety of allergies.
However
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, the government and individuals have their own responsibility to deal with
this
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 trend. First and foremost, the government should provide more cycling factories in major cities to cope with
this
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 issue.
Furthermore
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, the recycling infrastructure should be facilitated in order to ease cycling for individuals.
For instance
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, by providing specific bins on the streets to encourage people to separate their waste out of
plastic
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 products.
In addition
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, Individuals need to help the government promote recycling by teaching their children to avoid using
nylon
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bags
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 in shopping stores.
Moreover
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, some campaigns should be organized in order to encourage more folks to recycle responsibly and avoid littering.
To sum up
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,
although
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 the
plastic
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 bottles and packaging systems which use
nylon
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 to package products can cause irreparable damage to our surrounding area, there are some responsibilities that the recycling minister and people are required to take into account to reduce
this
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 rising trend and its negative consequences. I hope in the near future,
plastic
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 will be replaced with other kinds of packaging methods,
such
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 as paper
bags
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 to preserve our surroundings.
Submitted by bb_emperator on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next to enhance cohesion. Consider using a wider variety of transitional phrases to signal connections between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
For a stronger task response, deepen the analysis of each point. Expand on the environmental impacts mentioned by providing more detailed examples or case studies.
coherence cohesion
To improve the essay's structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that support that idea. Try to develop your points more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance your expression and score. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
task achievement
While your essay provides a general response to the task, for a higher score, ensure all components of the question are addressed in depth. Include more specific measures governments and individuals can take beyond recycling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • plastic pollution
  • ecosystems
  • wildlife
  • climate change
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • strict regulations
  • plastic consumption
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • sustainable packaging
  • recycling facilities
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