The chart below provides information about computer possesstion with difference educational level between 2002 and 2010

The chart below provides information about computer possesstion with difference educational level between 2002 and 2010
The bar charts show data about data processor
ownership
, with a
further
classification by level of
education
, from 2002 to 2010. A steady but significant rise can be seen in the percentage of the population that owned a
computer
over the period. Just over half the population owned computers in 2002,
whereas
by 2010 three out of four people had a home
computer
. An analysis of the data by level of
education
shows that higher levels of
education
correspond to higher levels of
computer
ownership
in both of those years. In 2002, only around 15% of those who did not finish high school had a
computer
but
this
figure had trebled by 2010. There were
also
considerable increases, of approximately 30 percentage points, for those with a high school diploma or an unfinished college
education
(reaching 65% and 85% respectively in 2010).
However
, graduates and postgraduates proved to have the greatest level of
ownership
in 2010, at 90% and 95% respectively, 20 percentage points higher than in 2002. The
last
decade has seen a substantial growth in
computer
ownership
in general
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and across all educational levels.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership, education, computer with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!