You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement, and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, •describe the situation •explain your problems and why it is difficult to work •say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter to discuss a problem between my and my roommate matter and I would like to know if it is possible to move to another room. I currently share a room with a girl
her
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
name is Meemi, she is from South Korea, and we have totally different lifestyles. I'm a morning person because I have work every day early in the morning, and Meemi always invites her friends to come inside the room and
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
games very loud until midnight. Which really disturbs my sleep.
As a result
, I could not get enough sleep when they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
in the leaving lots of noise.
This
led to a serious matter because I went to work late and all of my work came out really bad because I lacked sleep. If it is a single available, can you
arranged
Wrong verb form
arrange
show examples
it for me
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
I would be very happy and appreciative. Please feel free to respond to me at any time. Yours sincerely Preawpiroon
Submitted by fonnfahh2402 on

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Greeting and Closing
Start by improving the greeting by using a more personalized approach if the name of the officer is known, or maintaining the formal tone throughout the letter. The conclusion could also benefit from more specific suggestions or requests for follow-up actions.
Logical Structure & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea or purpose. Your letter does an adequate job, but further emphasis on how each part leads to the next can enhance clarity and effectiveness. Use linking phrases to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.
Complete Response
Address the prompt fully by including a more detailed description of the situation, explaining how it affects your studies specifically, and giving clear reasons for preferring a single room. Providing specific examples will strengthen your argument.
Suitable Writing Tone
Maintain a respectful and formal tone throughout the letter. Using phrases like 'if it is possible' and 'I would be very grateful' are good, but ensuring consistency in politeness and formality throughout will enhance your message's effectiveness.

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