You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement, and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, •describe the situation •explain your problems and why it is difficult to work •say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to discuss a problem between my and my roommate matter and I would like to know if it is possible to move to another room. I currently share a room with a girl

her

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

name is Meemi, she is from South Korea, and we have totally different lifestyles. I'm a morning person because I have work every day early in the morning, and Meemi always invites her friends to come inside the room and

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

games very loud until midnight. Which really disturbs my sleep.

As a result

Linking Words

, I could not get enough sleep when they

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

in the leaving lots of noise.

This

Linking Words

led to a serious matter because I went to work late and all of my work came out really bad because I lacked sleep. If it is a single available, can you

arranged

Wrong verb form

arrange

show examples

it for me

Change the punctuation

show examples

I would be very happy and appreciative. Please feel free to respond to me at any time. Yours sincerely Preawpiroon

fonnfahh2402Tue Mar 12 2024

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Greeting and Closing

Start by improving the greeting by using a more personalized approach if the name of the officer is known, or maintaining the formal tone throughout the letter. The conclusion could also benefit from more specific suggestions or requests for follow-up actions.

Logical Structure & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea or purpose. Your letter does an adequate job, but further emphasis on how each part leads to the next can enhance clarity and effectiveness. Use linking phrases to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.

Complete Response

Address the prompt fully by including a more detailed description of the situation, explaining how it affects your studies specifically, and giving clear reasons for preferring a single room. Providing specific examples will strengthen your argument.

Suitable Writing Tone

Maintain a respectful and formal tone throughout the letter. Using phrases like 'if it is possible' and 'I would be very grateful' are good, but ensuring consistency in politeness and formality throughout will enhance your message's effectiveness.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

169 words

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