You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her.

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest

Dear Shoaib, I just received your letter and it is good to know that you're asking about my choice about whether you should pursue an education or a career. Since you already got a loan for graduation and you don't have any grant or sponsor for higher studies, you need to pay the instalments of the loan.

Hence

, if you continue your studies, you'll be in much more debt which will distract you from your studies. You can immediately start your career for a number of reasons.

First,

this

way, you'll not only interact with professionals and develop interpersonal skills but it'll

also

provide you a practical experience which are the requirements of most jobs.

Then

, you will earn some money to manage your finances. After graduating in the field of data science, a data analyst is the primary role

that is

high in demand and you should go for it. When you spend a few years working as a data analyst, your portfolio will attract the attention of employers to employ you in high positions. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Khan

Submitted by Haris Khan on Tue Mar 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and the paragraphs are well separated. This helps in making your letter more organized and easier for the reader to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and make your writing more cohesive. While your letter has a good structure, using words like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally' can enhance flow.

Task Achievement

Include more detailed explanations and examples for your points. While your advice is sound, expanding on your ideas with more detail can help to fully convince your friend and meet the task requirements more completely.

Task Achievement

Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. Your tone is suitable for the context of giving advice to a friend, but ensure that it remains respectful and considerate.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

187 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical nature
real-world experience
practical experience
professional network
financial independence
dynamic
on-the-job learning
creative industries
customer service
sectors
suitable

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