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The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

#movements #people #villages #cities #work #lots #places #measures
These days, some people
move
 the urban areas for their workplace
,
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 and entertainment which is one of the most critical
problems
 all over the world. To revive the countryside, we have to solve
this
problem
 together. In
this
 essay, I will attempt to identify
problems
 and propose some applicable solutions to redress
this
 matter. Broadly speaking, there are some main
problems
 with
this
 matter. First and foremost, one of the major
problems
 is that rural areas undergo a decline in population
while
,
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cities
 become overpopulation.
As a result
, the countryside loses its economically active population and evokes local economic trouble.
Secondly
, when the young generation decreased, some occupations disappeared because, some stores were only used by the rising generation
such
 as movie theatres, and spicy and fast food restaurants. In terms of proposing some solutions to
this
 apparent dilemma, the members of society, government, and
companies
 should cooperate to tackle
this
problem
.
Firstly
, the most remarkable one is that popular
companies
 or public
companies
such
 as LG, Samsung, and Kotra should migrate their office to the place where remote
cities
.
For example
, these days, in Korea, a few
companies
 are not located capital city, they
move
 to their office in other
cities
such
 as Daegu, Busan, and Ulsan.
Because
Correct word choice
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, if they are
move
, the employee must
move
 their living place
so
Correct word choice
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to local economic development and
cities
 are vibrant and jolly.
Furthermore
, our government to promote diverse festivals or events in the villages that cause tourist increase, and add various entertainment
such
 as movie theatres, parks, and leisure centres. To sum it up, most people occasionally leave their hometown for their freedom, jobs, and entertainment.
Also
, when
this
 population concentration phenomenon is sustained,
this
 economic
problem
 is serious.
However
, efforts to solve
this
 matter can solve
this
problem
 sensibly and easily.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

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Sentence Structure and Vocabulary
To further improve your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and expanding your range of vocabulary. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Solution Clarity
When presenting solutions, ensure each is clearly explained and directly linked to the issues raised. This can enhance the coherence of your arguments.
Content and Examples
You have successfully identified significant problems related to urban migration and supported your points with clear examples.
Organization
Your essay has a logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Rural-urban divide
  • Dwindling opportunities
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Infrastructure development
  • Job creation
  • Sustainable development
  • Economic diversification
  • Skills training
  • Cultural assimilation
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