The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

#movements #people #villages #cities #work #lots #places #measures

These days, some people

move

the urban areas for their workplace

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and entertainment which is one of the most critical

problems

all over the world. To revive the countryside, we have to solve

this

problem

together. In

this

essay, I will attempt to identify

problems

and propose some applicable solutions to redress

this

matter. Broadly speaking, there are some main

problems

with

this

matter. First and foremost, one of the major

problems

is that rural areas undergo a decline in population

while

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

cities

become overpopulation.

As a result

, the countryside loses its economically active population and evokes local economic trouble.

Secondly

, when the young generation decreased, some occupations disappeared because, some stores were only used by the rising generation

such

as movie theatres, and spicy and fast food restaurants. In terms of proposing some solutions to

this

apparent dilemma, the members of society, government, and

companies

should cooperate to tackle

this

problem

Firstly

, the most remarkable one is that popular

companies

or public

companies

such

as LG, Samsung, and Kotra should migrate their office to the place where remote

cities

For example

, these days, in Korea, a few

companies

are not located capital city, they

move

to their office in other

cities

such

as Daegu, Busan, and Ulsan.

Because

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, if they are

move

, the employee must

move

their living place

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads to local economic development and

cities

are vibrant and jolly.

Furthermore

, our government to promote diverse festivals or events in the villages that cause tourist increase, and add various entertainment

such

as movie theatres, parks, and leisure centres. To sum it up, most people occasionally leave their hometown for their freedom, jobs, and entertainment.

Also

, when

this

population concentration phenomenon is sustained,

this

economic

problem

is serious.

However

, efforts to solve

this

matter can solve

this

problem

sensibly and easily.

Submitted by wowoo04066 on Mon Apr 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentence Structure and Vocabulary

To further improve your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and expanding your range of vocabulary. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Solution Clarity

When presenting solutions, ensure each is clearly explained and directly linked to the issues raised. This can enhance the coherence of your arguments.

Content and Examples

You have successfully identified significant problems related to urban migration and supported your points with clear examples.

Organization

Your essay has a logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Urbanization
Rural-urban divide
Dwindling opportunities
Socio-economic disparities
Infrastructure development
Job creation
Sustainable development
Economic diversification
Skills training
Cultural assimilation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.
The percentage of animals and plants has gone down in these years. Personally, I would say that climate change and the worst treatment of animals cause that problem. Hence, to investigate that matter we need more comprehensive care of animals and plants with conditions that forbid the use of fire in the forest. This essay will discuss that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
5.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?
Nowadays, there is a trend rise in many nations that encourages individuals to buy foodstuff from foreign brands instead of local ones. However, this can be changed by the introduction of local products through announcement.
4.5
band
Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities for employees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sports turns into a vital part of our life. A growing number of people argue that having sports equipment in companies is the most beneficial option for those who do not have an afford to go to sports centre, whereass others think that it is not companies' business as they should promote emloyees with only a job satisfaction. Personally, I completely believe that it could be better if companies supply workers with several activitives including sport.
5.5
band
Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
It is often argued by people that children have to use only online resources when others have an opinion that traditional paper materials are suitable for them. This essay will delve into both perspectives and articulate my stance on this matter.
<4
band
In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where the local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?
Wherther some public parks in cities and spaces are being changed into gardens into gardens where local people can plant their own fruit and vegetables. This writter will argue that the negative impact when people plant their own fruit and vegetables in some public parks and open spaces.

The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities for employees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where the local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?