Some people say that the main aim of advertisements is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individuals think that the primary goal of
advertisements
is in order to fix
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
selling which
society
actually
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not put
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
as
show examples
first priority. I strongly agree, because many
companies
tend to reduce their
loss
and
rising
Verb problem
raise
show examples
their
products
to become popular among customers.
Firstly
, many industries prefer to decline the
loss
Change preposition
of sales
show examples
sales
Change preposition
of sales
show examples
in order to increase the huge income. When they find out that the
products
are not sold as their target, they will undertake to
deplet
Correct your spelling
deplete
delete
the stocks
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
many ways. One of
effective
Add an article
the effective
show examples
ways to overcome
this
issue is by setting up several
advertisements
through social media on the internet platform. As people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
scrolling their phone,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are finding many
advertisements
and it will potentially attract them to purchase the
products
.
For example
, because of
boycott
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the boycott
show examples
campaign, currently
unilever
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Unilever
show examples
income decreased dramatically,
then
they hugely
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
many
advertisements
to reduce their
loss
.
Secondly
,
companies
desire their
products
or services
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to becomes
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
popular among
society
. If
society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
familiar with their
products
or services, it will lead to
bring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a huge income for
companies
.
In addition
,
popularity
Replace the word
popular
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
also
give a good personal branding for the firm. It
also
provides a good impact
for
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on
show examples
human resources and
development
Correct article usage
the development
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progress enterprise.
For example
, famous
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
such
as Gucci tried to do a deal with international artists
such
as BLACKPINK, Kylie Jenner and Ariana in order to promote their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
through
advertisements
.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that the major purpose of
advertisements
is to repair
products
selling which people genuinely do not take these
products
as their primary needs. It is
due to
two reasons namely
companies
tend to decrease their
loss
sales and increase their
products
Change noun form
product's
products'
show examples
popularity
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
by setting
many
Change preposition
up many
show examples
advertisements
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the topic and briefly introduces how you plan to support this opinion. Providing a clear thesis statement helps to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider broadening your range of examples to support your points. While the examples provided are relevant, more diverse examples could strengthen your argument and showcase a wider understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay close attention to the cohesion of your essay. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be improved to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using conjunctions and transition phrases more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a stronger conclusion by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion in a compelling way. Your conclusion should effectively close the discussion while reinforcing your stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • essential
  • basic needs
  • persuasive techniques
  • convince
  • desires
  • influence
  • consumer behavior
  • manipulate
  • emotions
  • unnecessary purchases
  • contribute to
  • consumerism
  • overconsumption
  • informative
  • informed choices
  • genuine needs
  • awareness
  • innovations
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