Some people say that the main aim of advertisements is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Individuals think that the primary goal of
advertisements
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is in order to fix
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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selling which
society
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actually
do
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does
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not put
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on
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as
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first priority. I strongly agree, because many
companies
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tend to reduce their
loss
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and
rising
Verb problem
raise
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their
products
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to become popular among customers.
Firstly
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, many industries prefer to decline the
loss
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of sales
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sales
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of sales
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in order to increase the huge income. When they find out that the
products
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are not sold as their target, they will undertake to
deplet
Correct your spelling
deplete
delete
the stocks
with
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in
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many ways. One of
effective
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the effective
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ways to overcome
this
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issue is by setting up several
advertisements
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through social media on the internet platform. As people
is
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are
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scrolling their phone,
as
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apply
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they are finding many
advertisements
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and it will potentially attract them to purchase the
products
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.
For example
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, because of
boycott
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the boycott
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campaign, currently
unilever
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Unilever
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income decreased dramatically,
then
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they hugely
create
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created
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many
advertisements
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to reduce their
loss
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.
Secondly
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,
companies
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desire their
products
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or services
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to becomes
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becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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popular among
society
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. If
society
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are
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is
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familiar with their
products
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or services, it will lead to
bring
Verb problem
apply
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a huge income for
companies
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.
In addition
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,
popularity
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popular
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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also
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give a good personal branding for the firm. It
also
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provides a good impact
for
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on
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human resources and
development
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the development
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progress enterprise.
For example
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, famous
brand
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brands
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such
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as Gucci tried to do a deal with international artists
such
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as BLACKPINK, Kylie Jenner and Ariana in order to promote their
product
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products
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through
advertisements
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.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that the major purpose of
advertisements
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is to repair
products
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selling which people genuinely do not take these
products
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as their primary needs. It is
due to
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two reasons namely
companies
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tend to decrease their
loss
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sales and increase their
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products
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product's
products'
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popularity
among
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in
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society
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by setting
many
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up many
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advertisements
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the topic and briefly introduces how you plan to support this opinion. Providing a clear thesis statement helps to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider broadening your range of examples to support your points. While the examples provided are relevant, more diverse examples could strengthen your argument and showcase a wider understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay close attention to the cohesion of your essay. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be improved to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using conjunctions and transition phrases more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a stronger conclusion by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion in a compelling way. Your conclusion should effectively close the discussion while reinforcing your stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • essential
  • basic needs
  • persuasive techniques
  • convince
  • desires
  • influence
  • consumer behavior
  • manipulate
  • emotions
  • unnecessary purchases
  • contribute to
  • consumerism
  • overconsumption
  • informative
  • informed choices
  • genuine needs
  • awareness
  • innovations
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