Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that everyone is able to attend tertiary
education
that
Correct word choice
and that
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the state ought to provide free university
education
for all students regardless of their financial status. I
am not regard
Change the verb form
do not regard
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myself as an advocate of
this
idea. Without a shadow of
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
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, it is not crucial that the authority had better to squander money on tertiary
education
now
Correct your spelling
no
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matter what their socio-economic background .
This
might be because
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
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the common belief that free
education
may elevate the
labor
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labour
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workforces’
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workforce’s
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quality, factually, it may cause career-related problems because of the intense competitiveness. To be specific, a wealth of corporations require employees based on their college qualifications from prestigious universities
such
as
National
Correct article usage
the National
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Economic University, Foreign Trade University, and Diplomatic Academic of Vietnam.
Hence
, Applying
free-college
Correct article usage
a free-college
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policy is not
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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necessity
Replace the word
necessary
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.
Furthermore
, subsidizing college
education
is not feasible for the authority
due to
budget constraints.
And the
Correct word choice
The
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basis of
this
is that national coffer is not enough to cover completely owing to the essence of payment for alternatives. To be specific, building abundant facilities, thriving tourism and expanding the entertainment industry can be cited as some compelling instances for other aspects that the law-maker makes an investment in.
Thus
, the government should not wholly subsidize tertiary
education
as the state budget is insufficient. In conclusion, I do not have
consensus
Correct article usage
a consensus
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with the governor
takes
Wrong verb form
taking
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accountability for fully funding all students' budgets since it limits career opportunities and the government’s budget may not be sufficient.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
Introduce your main argument more clearly in your introduction, ensuring that your stance on the topic is immediately apparent to the reader. Providing a concise thesis statement could greatly enhance your essay's focus.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, avoiding repetition and promoting clarity. This can help make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task response
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Use real-world instances, studies, or statistics where possible to make your arguments more compelling and to better fulfill the task requirements.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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