Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s modern era, some
people
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think that if workers get a
job
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early and stick with it throughout their careers, they will be more successful than others changing jobs frequently.
This
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writer agrees with
this
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statement and will explain during the essay. It must be understood that one of the great benefits for
people
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choosing a
job
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early and keeping it is having goals to dedicate to the
job
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. To be more specific, some
people
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find their passions and interests in a certain
job
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, which can help them make efforts to develop themselves comprehensively to reach some achievements.
For instance
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, when many children have often dreamed of becoming scientists or popular characters, they have to practice for a long time
as well as
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maintain their interests to accomplish it in the future. Another point worth considering is that
people
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have an opportunity to earn large and stable incomes, which
consequently
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change their lives. Life stability is the most important thing in
job
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satisfaction and it helps maintain satisfaction in the long run.
According to
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BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
show examples
, money is a key factor in
people
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’s work goals and they will feel satisfied if they have a lot of money. In conclusion,
while
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it can be beneficial to switch severe jobs, I believe selecting a
job
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and staying with it tends to bring more satisfaction for employees.
Thus
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, being settled down with a certain
job
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is a crucial thing that every worker
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to follow and maintain to become more successful in life.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding more transitional phrases and clearer connections between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
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For a higher task achievement score, address potential counterarguments to show a more balanced perspective, and make sure that your examples are directly relevant to the point being made.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure and language choice to enhance clarity and make your arguments more compelling. This will also help in achieving better coherence.
task achievement
Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to polish the overall presentation.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, which is important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-structured conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as referencing BBC news, which helps to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure and flows reasonably well from one point to the next.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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