Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding whether there are lots of short holidays throughout the year or whether it is advantageous to have vacations which are shorter and longer.

This

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essay will seek to demonstrate that immediate relaxation and refunding money quickly, despite those who believe that the longer holidays will be more beneficial. It must be recognized that tranquillity without waiting is a reason why the short retreats are going to be better. To be more specific, after working for many days constantly,

people

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's health will exacerbate and

this

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leads to stress for a long

time

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Hence

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, a short hiatus will help their constitution become comfortable and full of energy.

Furthermore

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, after enjoying

time

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off,

people

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are comfy and completely focused on their work.

Therefore

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, a short respite is often the best way to improve an individual's work-life balance.

However

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, a section of society believes that travelling to many destinations is a factor in occasional and lengthy getaways is advantageous.

Due to

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the fact that individual's hobby in the family is different

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

every family usually choose some tourist attractions for relaxing.

Similarly

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, the gap between destinations is really large so it can take more

time

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to move.

Thus

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people

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can reduce stress quickly and enjoy

this

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vacation perfectly without worrying about the workload waiting for

people

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to do. From

this

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writer's experience, the income will not decline significantly despite

havinga

Correct your spelling

having a

having

break. It is

also

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noted that

people

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's energy is full to ready for the work. If working diligently day by day, the money used will return in the shortest

time

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On the other hand

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, during the getaway, spending a lot of money on entertainment will make

people

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have more energy and

this

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leads to working efficiently. In countries like Australia, where there are so many holidays, the residents are always in the most comfortable state so it is one of the leading economic countries. In conclusion, instant serenity and swift repayment are essential points that need to be considered.

Hence

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, it should have been shown that the government should allow

people

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to take more vacations.

AE Gay lordThu May 15 2025

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task achievement

Ensure to clearly define the opposing views in your introduction and delineate them effectively in the body paragraphs. Your current introduction does not clearly represent both perspectives before presenting your argument.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to logically connect your ideas with more cohesive devices. For example, when transitioning between the benefits of short holidays and long vacations, using connecting phrases can strengthen these transitions and the overall flow of your essay.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your claims, especially when discussing the benefits of holidays in countries like Australia. This could enhance your argument and demonstrate deeper engagement with the topic.

task achievement

You successfully presented both views of the debate, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains some good vocabulary, especially in relation to health and work-life balance, which reflects a solid lexical resource.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

347 words

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Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most importance aim of science should be to improve peoples lives to what extent do you agree os disagree with this statements

Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?

What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country?

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?