The graph line shows radio and television audience throughout the day in 1992.

The graph line shows radio and television audience throughout the day in 1992.
The provided graph illustrates the percentage of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of people living in
cities
in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
1970 to 2020. It
also
exhibits the prediction for the same matter for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, the percentage of the total population who live in
cities
in all countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
predicted to
increase
in 2040, compared to 1970. In 1970, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
only slightly more than 30% of people living in
cities
in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
1970 until 2020,
this
number
fluctuated and reached its peak in 1990
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
almost 50%.
However
, from 2020,
this
number
is predicted to constantly
increase
to slightly more than 50% in 2040. The
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
trend is
also
shown by
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
in Thailand.
Although
there was no significant
increase
between 1990 to 2020, the total
number
of people living in
cities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
expected to grow to about 45% in 2040.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, Malaysia and Indonesia are showing similar
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
. In 2040, both countries are predicted to experience a significant
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population who live in
cities
. There will be a total
increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
almost 50% and 40%, respectively.
Submitted by giskaayprd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cities, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • audience sizes
  • peak times
  • commuting
  • trends
  • prime time
  • fluctuating
  • lifestyle
  • technological advancements
  • engaging content
  • work schedules
  • gradual decline
  • habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: