Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years sports have become more popular in our society, for some people those are simple hobbies meanwhile others believe in the importance of
such
activities.
In this
essay, we will discuss how activities like soccer, running or hiking can impact positively in
our everyday Change preposition
apply
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Firstly
, it is a common opinion that physical activities such
as gym are not on top of their priorities,it is more something you do only if you have time or energy.
John Smith's research, published in the “Healthy Life” magazine, states that in the USA 1 out of 5 gym members train regularly at the same time in Australia
the rate is 1 out of 2.
Dr. Smith compared Add a comma
Australia,
this
datas
to another research in cardiovascular disease and Correct your spelling
data
while
the United States has 65% of the population with such
health problems, in Australia, only 23% has been diagnosed with one of those pathologies.
On the other side, many young dwellers put training on top of their priorities cheduling
their life around it.
Correct your spelling
scheduling
As a result
of a survey in WA the number of gyms that are open 24/7 has almost doubled.
Training has in fact been proven by numerous research, not only the one mentioned above, to be extremely important for our wellbeing
, from a small stroll around the park to a full 2 hours gym session.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
well-being
eaven
if there are many people on the globe convinced that training and staying active is not necessary, is a proven fact Correct your spelling
even
that is
the key for
a long and healthy life.Change preposition
to
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Introduction & Conclusion Development
Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion. Clearly state both perspectives and your opinion in the introduction. Reinforce your standpoint in the conclusion for greater impact.
Balanced Discussion
While discussing both views, ensure you allocate sufficient detail and analysis to each perspective. Your essay tends to focus more on the importance of sport without adequately exploring the view that sees sport merely as a leisure activity.
Use of Linking Words
Improve the clarity and progression of ideas by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument and make transitions between sentences smoother.
Grammar & Punctuation
Correct grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability. For instance, 'eaven if' should be 'even if', 'datas' should be 'data'. Pay attention to punctuation and capitalize proper nouns correctly.
Sentence Variety
Incorporate a broader variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.