In some socieries the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adilt punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, juvenile
crimes
has
been a topic of concern. A school of thought holds that punishment should be similar for all criminals who perpetrate a major Change the verb form
have
crime
, no matter of age. Personally, I totally disagree with this
perspective for the rationale that follows.
To begin
with, it is a fact beyond dispute that youth crimes
often commit a crime
because of impilsive
actions. In other Correct your spelling
impulsive
worlds
, juvenile Correct your spelling
words
crimes
do not fully develop awareness that
Correct pronoun usage
which
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
lack
of knowledge about the Correct article usage
a lack
consequence
. Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
Correct your spelling
According to
Acordingly
, it can be inferred that Correct pronoun usage
Acordingly this
majority
of youth Correct article usage
the majority
muder
Correct your spelling
murders
perpetrate
because of negative influence from family and friends. Wrong verb form
are perpetrated
Consequently
, it is possible to
juvenile Change preposition
for
crimes
to be rehabilitated and changed
Wrong verb form
change
way
of thinking.
Another point is that there is no gain Correct pronoun usage
their way
saying
that using Change preposition
in saying
rehalibitation
programmes to renovate youth Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
crimes
has more
Correct article usage
a more
possitive
approach. To be more Correct your spelling
positive
specigic
, Correct your spelling
specific
rehalibitation
programmes have many Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
way
that can educate young criminals. These methods can help teenagers who commit a Change to a plural noun
ways
crime
reintegrate to
the community and Change preposition
into
boarden
Correct your spelling
broaden
board
Correct article usage
the oppotunity
oppotunity
to . Correct your spelling
opportunity
For example
, counselling, vocational
training are some ways that can be utilized to Correct word choice
and vocational
rehalibitate
these teenagers. Correct your spelling
rehabilitate
As a result
, juvenile crimes
will have a potential future.
In view of the aforementioned arguments, my unshakable conviction is that juvenile offending
who perpetrate a major Replace the word
offenders
crime
should not receive as
similar punishment as Correct your spelling
a
mature
Add an article
a mature
crime
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your stance and gives a brief outline of the main points to be discussed.
task achievement
More specific examples and evidence could strengthen your argument. For example, referencing studies or statistics related to the effectiveness of rehabilitation programs would be beneficial.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure your essay has a clear logical flow. Using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs could enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
For cohesion, use a greater variety of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
language
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors, such as 'rehalibitation' should be 'rehabilitation', 'muder perpetrate' should be 'murderers', and 'juvenile crimes' is not used correctly (consider 'juvenile criminals' or 'juveniles who commit crimes'). Correct these to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.