The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What are the reasons for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more
yonth
Correct your spelling
youth
young
people
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
in many countries, especially
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
. Many people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
technology
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
is the main reason leads
this
situation.
Children
can
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
watch videos
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
via different
devides
Correct your spelling
devices
such
as
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
,
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
and
tevevision
Correct your spelling
televisions
. They watch videos and get
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
which are not suitable
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
age. Especially, the videos may include crime and sexual. There are
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
of news about
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
people
want
Wrong verb form
wanting
show examples
to attract others, so following challenges
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may damage
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
or
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Secondly
, teachers
cann't
Correct your spelling
can't
give students punishment when they do something wrong. Some partners protect
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
too much, so ask teachers
don't
Verb problem
not to
show examples
punish their
children
even when
children
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
follow the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
of school. It may cause
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
can not
Verb problem
to
show examples
stop students when they find some little sign before things
go
Verb problem
get
show examples
worse.
To sum up
,
childrenhood
Correct your spelling
childhood
is so important during
kid's
Correct article usage
a kid's
show examples
growning
Correct your spelling
growing
which learning to follow the rules of reality
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and learn
the personilty
Correct word choice
personal
show examples
duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
show examples
. Parents should make a good relationship with
children
such
as making conversation to understand what
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
in school or other places. Teachers
also
need to take care
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
and report to
parants
Correct your spelling
parents
if find out something strange.
Submitted by fran60825 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Work on structuring your essay better with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
paragraphing
Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas or points. This contributes to the logical flow of the essay.
task response
Make sure to accurately address the essay question, including all parts of the prompt in your response. Detail reasons for the trend and specific solutions.
vocabulary
Use a broader range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetition of words and phrases. This demonstrates a wider language proficiency.
grammar
Check your essay for grammatical errors and aim for accuracy in your verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article use.
examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your points. This helps to make your arguments more convincing.
reasoning
Be wary of overgeneralizations. Back up your claims with evidence or explain your reasoning clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: