should the governments make decisions about peoples lifestyle , or should people make their own decisions?What is your Opinion?

This
essay will discuss the opinion that governments should make decisions about
people
's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
, or should the
people
make their own decisions. I will give my opinion and reasons. In my humble and honest
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disagree with the notion that governments should make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
about
people
's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
People
should be
independant
Correct your spelling
independent
to live their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
without influence from the
law-makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
show examples
. No human being should be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
like animals, they should do as they please. Imagine the
government
telling
people
how to dress or what to eat,
this
will be so unfair and
people
will feel like they are in jail.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
should travel or
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
their leisure time without any fear or influence from anyone.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe the
government
should rather be there to make sure that the
people
's lifestyles are not affecting the next person.
this
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
there are other human beings who are heartless and they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
value other
people
's lives.
This
is when the
government
should come in to make sure
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is no killing, stealing or harm being done to other fellow citizens.
For instance
, no one should be told what type of car to drive, but the
government
should make sure when Mr X is driving his car he does not drive it recklessly to avoid killing innocent souls on the roads.
Therefore
there must be
speedlimits
Correct your spelling
speed limits
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
roadsand
Correct your spelling
roads and
other precautions should be put in place to guide motorists. Conclusively,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that
government
should not make decisions about
people
's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. Their responsibility is to ensure a safe environment for citizens and great opportunities to succeed in achieving their goals.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in task response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. You should also provide more specific examples and details to support your opinions. Developing your arguments more comprehensively will make your essay more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your essay more effectively by using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This helps to guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, making use of linking words and phrases will improve the overall flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: