IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, environmental
issues
Use synonyms
 have become a major concern for governments and citizens worldwide.
While
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 some argue that these
problems
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 should be addressed globally, others believe that national
efforts
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 are more effective.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter. On the one hand, tackling environmental
problems
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 on a global scale has several advantages.
First,
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many environmental
issues
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,
such
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 as climate change, air pollution, and ocean plastic, are transboundary in nature.
For instance
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, greenhouse gas emissions from one country can affect the entire planet, leading to global warming.
Therefore
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, coordinated international
efforts
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 are essential to effectively mitigate these
issues
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.
Moreover
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, global initiatives can lead to the sharing of resources, knowledge, and technologies. The Paris Agreement,
for example
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, is a landmark global accord that aims to limit global warming and has seen countries collaborate to set and achieve emission reduction targets.
On the other hand
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, addressing environmental
problems
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 at the national level can
also
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 be highly effective. Each country has unique environmental challenges and conditions, which can be best understood and managed locally. National governments are in a better position to implement policies and regulations tailored to their specific needs.
For example
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, a country with a high dependence on coal can focus on developing alternative energy sources and creating job opportunities in renewable energy sectors.
Additionally
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, national
efforts
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 can be more rapidly implemented and monitored, leading to quicker and more tangible results. In my opinion,
while
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 national
efforts
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 are crucial, a combination of
both
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 global and national approaches is the most effective way to address environmental
issues
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. Global cooperation provides a framework for countries to work together and tackle
issues
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 that transcend borders,
while
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 national
efforts
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 ensure that specific local conditions and challenges are addressed. By integrating
both
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 approaches, we can create a more comprehensive and robust strategy to protect our environment. In conclusion, environmental
problems
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 require
both
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 global and national solutions.
While
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 international collaboration is necessary to address
issues
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 that affect the entire planet, national initiatives are essential for tackling local challenges. A synergistic approach that combines the strengths of
both
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 levels of intervention will ultimately lead to more effective and sustainable outcomes.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and responds to all parts of the question. However, it could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or case studies for each point made.
coherence cohesion
While your essay was well-organized, consider using more varied linking words or phrases to ensure that the flow between paragraphs is even smoother.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction successfully sets up the context and outlines both perspectives, leading smoothly into the body of the essay.
logical structure
The paragraphs are logically structured, each addressing a different perspective before effectively synthesizing these views in your opinion.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of the Paris Agreement, to support your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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