The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.

The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.
The given graph compares the proportions of pupils
in
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of
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two genders that are capable
in
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of
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foreign
language
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languages
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in different countries.
Overall
speaking
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apply
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, the figures for females that proficient in overseas
language
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languages
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are higher than for males in almost
each
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every
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nation. Noticeably,
indians
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Indians
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were much more familiar
in
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with
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foreign
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a foreign
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language
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languages
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than other nations. Focusing on the data for India and China, the majority of Indians are competent in other countries's
language
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languages
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, with the number reaching around 55% to 65% no matter which gender, about twice as large as the data in Thailand (between 27%-30%).
By contrast
, most
of
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apply
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Chineses
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Chinese
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are
unfamilar
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unfamiliar
to
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with
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other languages,
whcih
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which
accounted
to
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for
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roughly 15% and 30% for
man
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men
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and women respectively. Divert our focus to Romania and Thailand, there was a huge
different
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difference
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in the figure for different genders in the former nation, at around 20% for males and females (about 40% and 65% respectively),
although
the number for females in
thailand
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Thailand
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are somewhat lower than for
mans
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men
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(roughly 28% and 30% in order).
Submitted by luoyinjian2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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