IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are studying English at a private language school attended by many international students. You are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend who has been feeling particularly sad and homesick. Write to another classmate and invite him/her to the party. In your letter: * explain the reason for the party * give the date and time of the party * suggest what the classmate could bring to the party

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Dear Jass, I hope you are doing well. I’m writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you that I’m planning to organize a birthday party for our friend Harjinder as his natal day is on 20th March. As we all are international students living far from our family and we miss our family,
therefore
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, it is important to celebrate small occasions together so that we don’t miss our families
as well as
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 relatives.
Moreover
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, it is necessary to make fun and build good relationships between our friends. I plan to deliver the party on 18th March as we all are free because of the holiday and we celebrate at an Italian restaurant as Harjinder likes Italian food.
Furthermore
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, all arrangements are made by the restaurant team but our classmates would bring special cakes and gifts for our
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. I made
this
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 plan if you want to add or change something
then
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 please don’t hesitate to tell me. See you soon in the party. Best Regards, Love

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task response
For a higher score in task response, ensure you provide more specific details such as the exact location of the Italian restaurant and how your classmate can contribute to the party in a unique way, beyond just cakes and gifts.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and varying your sentence structures to smoothly link ideas and paragraphs together. This makes your letter more engaging and easier to follow.
greeting and closing
While your greeting and closing are politely drafted, adding a personal touch or a note of anticipation towards the event can make them even more effective.
single idea per paragraph
Your paragraphs each cover a single idea, which is good. However, expanding on each point with more detail or examples could enhance clarity and interest.
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