IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have just finished your master’s degree and need to leave your current part-time job to search for full-time employment. Write a letter to your current employer. In your letter ● explain why you will not pursue a full-time job in his/her company ● say why you’ve enjoyed working for him/her ● tell him/her how much longer you will continue to work for him/her

#master’s #job #search #employment #employer #company #you’ve #work
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Dear Mr Paul, I am writing regarding my current employment. I have completed my master's degree and I am now applying to work
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
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. I am pursuing a job related to my stream. The office assistant position is quite opposite to my field of study,
therefore
, I applied for software developer positions in a couple of companies, and I got selected by Infosys which is located in India.
Furthermore
, my family and friends are
also
 settled in India. I always have plans to return to India after completing my education. I have had a great time in Canada, especially
while
 working in
this
 industry. I have made good friends in the working area, and even team members and supervisors treated us as a family which will never be forgotten. I am planning to leave Canada on 1st February. There is technically one month and 10 days more. I can continue my job till 26th of January. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Harpreet Kaur.
Submitted by harpreet291kaur on

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coherence cohesion
Have a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While the structure is somewhat clear, ensure that each paragraph has a distinct purpose and that the letter flows coherently from one section to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, which is good. Just make sure to maintain this formal tone throughout the entire letter.
coherence cohesion
Discuss only one idea per paragraph to improve the readability of your letter. Aim to separate the explanation of leaving, the enjoyment of working for the employer, and the duration you can continue working into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that you completely fulfill the task by elaborating on all points of the prompt. While you addressed all aspects, more detail and expansion on why you enjoyed working for the employer would have improved your response.
task achievement
Your tone is generally suitable and maintains the formality necessary for a letter to an employer. Just be cautious of the flow and transition between personal experiences and the main points.
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