Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
Art
classes, such
as painting and drawing have been recognized as important for children's overall
development. Therefore
, it is an ongoing debate that such
subjects
should be seen as obligatory.
From my perspective, I partly agree with the statement.
On the one hand, there are certain reasons why the role of art
-related subjects
are
crucial for the development of children. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
For example
, maths which requires Add an article
the student
a student
student
to Fix the agreement mistake
students
caculate
and solve maths questions helps them to enhance problem-solving skills and cognitive acuity; Correct your spelling
calculate
while
art
subjects
could provide children with creative abilities. By participating in these classes, students
have more chances to learn how to observe artworks and furthermore
have a deeper insight into one's emotions.
On the other hand
, apart from mentioned
benefits that Correct article usage
the mentioned
art
classes could bring. Not all students
are interested in art
subjects
, if students
are forced to learn such
subjects
, it could be a cause of frustration and stress, leading them to resist. Meanwhile, these
amount of time should be spent on other Correct determiner usage
this
subjects
which students
feel enthusiastic about. For example
, in Vietnam, the Ministry of Education and Training has allowed students
to choose the subjects
they love to study instead
of forcing them to study nine mandatory as before. Furthermore
, there are policies encouraging students
to participate in physical subjects
to bring about comprehersive
development.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
comprehensive
although
art
subjects
are as important as others ones
, these Correct pronoun usage
apply
subjects
should not be considered as
obligatory. Change preposition
apply
Instead
, it is necessary for schools to guide their students
to discover their potential so that they could
develop in the most Wrong verb form
can
comprehersive
way.Correct your spelling
comprehensive
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task response
Strive to fully address the essay prompt. Your stance is somewhat vague. State clearly whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction and consistently support this stance throughout.
task response
Develop your ideas further with more specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and provide greater clarity for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay shows a good structure, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to your main argument. This will enhance logical flow and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Utilize a greater variety of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will improve the essay's readability and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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