Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s society, the notion that older individuals should persist in their professional roles if capable has garnered substantial support. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
Linking Words
perspective, as it not only benefits the economy but
also
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enhances the well-being of the elderly. The main reason I hold
this
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view is that the active participation of senior professionals in the
workforce
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significantly bolsters the economy. Their wealth of experience and expertise serves as an invaluable asset, fostering a knowledge-rich environment for the younger
workforce
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.
For instance
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, seasoned professionals often possess nuanced skills and a deep understanding of industry intricacies that their younger counterparts may lack. Sustained employment
also
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reduces the financial burden on social security systems, as fewer individuals rely on government pensions.
This
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is particularly pertinent in countries with
aging
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ageing
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populations, where the ratio of retirees to working adults is rapidly increasing.
Furthermore
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, engagement in work provides a sense of purpose and belonging, which is essential for senior citizens’ mental health. The routine and social interactions associated with employment can assuage feelings of isolation and irrelevance which are often experienced post-retirement. An example of
this
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can be seen in community mentorship programs, where elderly mentors impart their knowledge to the youth, thereby staying engaged and valued.
Additionally
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, maintaining an active professional life can promote better physical health, which is advantageous for both the individual and healthcare systems. Indeed, regular engagement in professional activities can help maintain cognitive functions and physical mobility, reducing the potential for age-related ailments.
To conclude
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, the various advantages of older people remaining in the
workforce
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are clear.
Therefore
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, I affirm that if older individuals are willing and capable, their continued contributions to the
workforce
Use synonyms
should be welcomed, for the sake of both society and themselves.
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the task question. The provided essay did not address the topic of art classes being compulsory in high school but instead discussed the benefits of older individuals remaining in the workforce. To improve, carefully read the task question and make sure your essay responds directly to what is being asked.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. It's crucial to maintain focus on the topic throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily. However, avoid overusing them or applying them inappropriately.
task response
To secure a higher score in task response, ensure that your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. Include relevant examples to support your points that are directly related to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Tolerance
  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Focus
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Mathematical abilities
  • Stress relief
  • Personal development
  • Self-discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Confidence
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
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