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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

it is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercises. what are the causes and solutions?

#people #cities #exercises
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In
Linking Words
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
 and
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. There are many
people
Use synonyms
 in different
metrolopis
Correct your spelling
metropolis
 who
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
show examples
 have enough physical to
train
Use synonyms
 their
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 exercises. My essay below will analyze both causes and solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. At the outset.
People
Use synonyms
 don’t have enough
strength
Use synonyms
 to
train
Use synonyms
 their
body
Use synonyms
 is attributed to various factors.
One
Use synonyms
 main cause of
this
Linking Words
 issue is that
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 generation are too lazy to get out of their
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 zone. Everyone has a television, a computer,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
smartphone and they always using it,
this
Linking Words
 eventually leads to
being lazy
Wrong verb form
laziness
show examples
 and
always don’t
Verb problem
not
show examples
want
Wrong verb form
wanting
show examples
 to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
. If
people
Use synonyms
 keep lazy like that they might be overweight or skinny
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
 on their diet.
Furthermore
Linking Words
.
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have bad
genetics
Use synonyms
 are unlucky because it
made they
Verb problem
is
show examples
 hard to gain
muscle
Use synonyms
 or
strength
Use synonyms
 to do exercises and it is the main reason their
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 weak.
Genetics
Use synonyms
separate
Wrong verb form
is separated
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 3 types which are ectomorph, mesomorph and endomorph.
For each
Change preposition
Each
show examples
Use synonyms
genetics
Replace the word
genetic
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own advantages but it is important to know which
one
Use synonyms
 you
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 because ectomorph will make you
looking
Change the form of the verb
look
show examples
 small but your
strength
Use synonyms
 is great
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mesomorph
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 you build your
body
Use synonyms
 much easier and the
last
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 you gain
muscle
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 lots of fat. There are a number of viable solutions to help tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, sloth
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 don’t want to
train
Use synonyms
 their
Use synonyms
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
 or
strength
Use synonyms
 but want to
on
Add a missing verb
be on
show examples
 screen for days by days. It is hard to make
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 have another point of view at training because they will get bored
quit
Correct word choice
and quit
show examples
 doing it soon. The only
way
Use synonyms
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 cause is
let
Fix the infinitive
to let
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 do it by themselves,
one
Use synonyms
 day they will look at their
body
Use synonyms
 and see how bad their
body
Use synonyms
 or
people
Use synonyms
 talk about
they
Rephrase
how they
show examples
 are too skinny or fat. They will have motivation and training
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 with bad
genetics
Use synonyms
 want to
training
Change the verb
train
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
. It will be much harder for them
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to normal
people
Use synonyms
 because their first time will be hard because they are so weak it made they do a single
push up
Add a hyphen
push-up
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 harder than many
people
Use synonyms
. The only
way
Use synonyms
 to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue is they have to
train
Use synonyms
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 consistently. In conclusion, there are two main reasons
lead to
Verb problem
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
One
Use synonyms
 is lazy
people
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 is bad
genetics
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
, and the only
way
Use synonyms
 to solve
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 causes is consistent. They must
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise every
weeks
Change to a singular noun
week
show examples
 to avoid
lazy
Replace the word
laziness
show examples
 and avoid
mid physical
Add a hyphen
mid-physical
show examples
.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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task achievement
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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by outlining them clearly in your introduction and by restating them in your conclusion for emphasis.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by clearly organizing your paragraphs, each dedicated to a single main idea with supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay, ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points in a way that directly relates back to the question topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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