Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are the causes of this and what solutions can you suggest?
These days, children’s obesity rate is one of the critical problems all over the world. To improve children's quality of life, we must solve these problems together.
This
essay will attempt to identify causes we can face in the process and suggest some measures to overcome these problems.
Broadly speaking, there are several reasons why many children undergo obesity. First and foremost, the main cause is their eating habits. Nowadays, many children love to eat high-calorie food
such
as hamburgers, chickens
, and pizzas. Fix the agreement mistake
chicken
Also
, after eating most people go to bed to rest. Secondly
, we don’t have many active classes in the school, especially high school. We spend most of our time sitting down and studying major subjects. The Last
one is our perspective. Most people think healthy food
is not delicious such
as vegetables and red beans. In contrast
, meats, fruits, and spicy and salty food
are yummy but, it is not good for health.
To address this
social problem, various efforts across society are required. Firstly
, the most important solution is we have to reduce eating high-calorie food
. Because that is
caused by not only obesity but also
diabetes, cancer, etc. Secondly
, the government should mandate/impose PE classes to be compulsory to improve student's basic athletic abilities. Another remarkable one is to raise awareness about the importance of fresh food
. Many companies make new items such
as meats made of beans and zero-sugar food
.
In conclusion, we all occasionally indulge in unhealthy food
for pleasure or due to
ignorance. Also
when those habits are sustained until adulthood, that problem has become more serious. However
, if we practise diverse ways to overcome this
problem could be sensibly and easily tackled.Submitted by wowoo04066 on
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task achievement
Ensure your essay covers all parts of the task. While you've addressed the causes and solutions for children's obesity, including more specific examples and a broader range of ideas could strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by structuring them more clearly into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence, make more effective use of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly. This not only helps with coherence but also showcases your language proficiency.
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