Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are the causes of this and what solutions can you suggest?
These days, children’s obesity rate is one of the critical problems all over the world. To improve children's quality of life, we must solve these problems together.
This
essay will attempt to identify causes we can face in the process and suggest some measures to overcome these problems.
Broadly speaking, there are several reasons why many children undergo obesity. First and foremost, the main cause is their eating habits. Nowadays, many children love to eat high-calorie Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
such
as hamburgers, Linking Words
chickens
, and pizzas. Fix the agreement mistake
chicken
Also
, after eating most people go to bed to rest. Linking Words
Secondly
, we don’t have many active classes in the school, especially high school. We spend most of our time sitting down and studying major subjects. The Linking Words
Last
one is our perspective. Most people think healthy Linking Words
food
is not delicious Use synonyms
such
as vegetables and red beans. Linking Words
In contrast
, meats, fruits, and spicy and salty Linking Words
food
are yummy but, it is not good for health.
To address Use synonyms
this
social problem, various efforts across society are required. Linking Words
Firstly
, the most important solution is we have to reduce eating high-calorie Linking Words
food
. Because Use synonyms
that is
caused by not only obesity but Linking Words
also
diabetes, cancer, etc. Linking Words
Secondly
, the government should mandate/impose PE classes to be compulsory to improve student's basic athletic abilities. Another remarkable one is to raise awareness about the importance of fresh Linking Words
food
. Many companies make new items Use synonyms
such
as meats made of beans and zero-sugar Linking Words
food
.
In conclusion, we all occasionally indulge in unhealthy Use synonyms
food
for pleasure or Use synonyms
due to
ignorance. Linking Words
Also
when those habits are sustained until adulthood, that problem has become more serious. Linking Words
However
, if we practise diverse ways to overcome Linking Words
this
problem could be sensibly and easily tackled.Linking Words
Submitted by wowoo04066 on
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task achievement
Ensure your essay covers all parts of the task. While you've addressed the causes and solutions for children's obesity, including more specific examples and a broader range of ideas could strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by structuring them more clearly into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence, make more effective use of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly. This not only helps with coherence but also showcases your language proficiency.
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