Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

In contemporary times, many adults opt to spend their leisure time engrossed in computer

games

This

shift in

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can be attributed to the allure of immersive digital

entertainment

However

while

gaming offers moments of enjoyment and relaxation, its excessive indulgence can have detrimental effects on both physical and mental well-being. It is undeniable that technology has become deeply integrated into modern society, permeating various aspects of daily life. The prevalence of three-dimensional video

games

, accessible through a plethora of platforms and applications, has captivated the attention of adults seeking

entertainment

. These

games

boast captivating visuals, engaging narratives, and competitive elements, which contribute to their widespread popularity. As individuals strive to excel and achieve higher scores, they may become ensnared in the addictive cycle of gaming, dedicating excessive amounts of time to virtual pursuits.

Nevertheless

, the excessive consumption of digital

entertainment

can have adverse implications for health. Research conducted in the UK indicates a rise in health issues among young individuals, including fatigue and mental illness, attributed to a lack of physical activity. Prolonged periods of sedentary

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

not only contribute to physical ailments but

also

foster unhealthy habits.

Additionally

, exposure to violent video

games

has been linked to desensitization to violence and aggressive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, posing risks to societal well-being. In conclusion,

while

computer

games

offer a source of amusement and diversion, their overindulgence can lead to unintended consequences. It is imperative for individuals to strike a balance between digital

entertainment

and real-world activities to safeguard their physical and mental health. By

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

moderation and mindfulness in their leisure pursuits, adults can derive enjoyment from gaming

while

prioritizing their

overall

well-being.

Submitted by 11E4 Community on Wed Mar 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer distinction between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a distinct idea with a clear topic sentence at the start.

task achievement

To fully address the prompt, ensure your essay includes both an analysis of why many adults prefer to play computer games, and a balanced discussion on the positive and negative implications of this trend.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points. This could include statistical data, findings from studies, or anecdotal examples that directly support your argument.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay. In the introduction, briefly outline the points you plan to discuss, and in the conclusion, summarize your main arguments and state your personal opinion on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, parents always desire their children to go to university, especially Asian parents. They believe that university will bring achievements to their teenagers. Hence, some people argue that a university education is the best path to success. In my view, I partly agree with this opinion because of the following reasons.
6.5
band
Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People deem that spending money on space research is a waste and that governments should make efforts to apply resources to other areas to benefit the nation. This essay deeply disagrees with this statement, and in the following lines my point of view will be explained.
4
band
Sport stars are paid too much for what they do . disscuss
There is a controversial issue about the income of famous athletes. Some social workers state that their payments are excessively large. However, some coaches argue that they deserve that money. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and agree with the idea that they receive too earning.
5
band
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
Some argue that plenty of working people have several health concerns every year due to a lack of workouts by enormous workloads.In this essay, I will present why a lot of people working in companies can not exercise regularly and show how they can tackle these problems. I will summarise my opinion in the conclusion.
8
band
Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, problems and emergencies are the central points in reports of media than the positive development.It is thought by some that this trend is harmful to individuals as well as society.In my opinion, more of these activities create fear in common peoples mind but it alerts everyone about the surroundings.

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sport stars are paid too much for what they do . disscuss

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?