What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television ?

Nowadays, the majority of the youth are not keen on reading paper books apart from that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are wasting of time,
such
as watching
television
. I reckon they
are watch
Change the verb form
are watching
show examples
excessive
Change the word
excessively
show examples
.
This
condition is often observed among kids.
To begin
with, many
children
enhance their thinking by watching
television
because they cannot read
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books kind of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
magazines. And that situation
is impact
Change the verb form
is impacting
is impacted
show examples
kid's outlook.
That is
why, they can be cognitive
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
activities
as well as
,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
speech is
also
developing. And every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must head it. Sometimes,
due to
the neglect of parents,
children
spend their time watching too much
television
.
This
has a bad effect on their health, which seriously affects the spine.
On the other hand
, by watching
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
young generations are gradually
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
their eyesight.
Television
is able to broaden the horizon of kid's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
by what type of
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
these
children
are watching,if they are watching educational videos on YouTube, they can faster learn the language of the videos, and if
children
are watch
Change the verb form
watch
show examples
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
in
adventure
Add an article
the adventure
show examples
genre, and can enrich their creativity and make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
trust in magic.
Besides
, adults I mean around 13-14 years old are
also
like
this
. And
this
prevents
children
from finding their place in society. In the future, even worse they can access a crime.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
they may steal money or jewelry from houses and banks.
Moreover
, it shall be harmful to the community. All things
considered
Add a comma
considered,
show examples
it all depends on the parents. And
people
who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
modern and technology life. It means,
every
Correct word choice
that every
show examples
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
and every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
really
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
all digital things and gadgets. All
people
should pay attention during the use internet because
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
is not safe and
people
's
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not protected
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should briefly outline what you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your main points.
task achievement
Ensure your essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. This includes providing clear arguments for both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to more clearly convey your ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This helps make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engaging
  • linguistic skills
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • distort
  • optimizing
  • debate
  • implications
  • viewing habits
  • parental guidance
  • educational programs
  • screen time
  • stereotypes
  • unhealthy behaviors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: