What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television ?
Nowadays, the majority of the youth are not keen on reading paper books apart from that
their
are wasting of time, Correct pronoun usage
they
such
as watching television
. I reckon they are watch
Change the verb form
are watching
excessive
. Change the word
excessively
This
condition is often observed among kids.
To begin
with, many children
enhance their thinking by watching television
because they cannot read a
books kind of Correct article usage
apply
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
and
magazines. And that situation Correct word choice
or
is impact
kid's outlook. Change the verb form
is impacting
is impacted
That is
why, they can be cognitive any
activities Change preposition
in any
as well as
, their
speech is Correct word choice
and their
also
developing. And every parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
are
must head it. Sometimes, Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
the neglect of parents, children
spend their time watching too much television
. This
has a bad effect on their health, which seriously affects the spine.
On the other hand
, by watching a
Correct article usage
apply
television
young generations are gradually loosing
their eyesight. Replace the word
losing
Television
is able to broaden the horizon of kid's mind
by what type of Fix the agreement mistake
minds
video
these Fix the agreement mistake
videos
children
are watching,if they are watching educational videos on YouTube, they can faster learn the language of the videos, and if children
are watch
Change the verb form
watch
cartoon
in Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
adventure
genre, and can enrich their creativity and make them Add an article
the adventure
to
trust in magic.
Change the verb form
apply
Besides
, adults I mean around 13-14 years old are also
like this
. And this
prevents children
from finding their place in society.
In the future, even worse they can access a crime. For
example
they may steal money or jewelry from houses and banks. Add a comma
example,
Moreover
, it shall be harmful to the community.
All things considered
it all depends on the parents. And Add a comma
considered,
people
who living
modern and technology life. It means, Change the form of the verb
live
every
Correct word choice
that every
people
and every Fix the agreement mistake
person
children
really Change to a singular noun
child
know
all digital things and gadgets. All Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
people
should pay attention during the use internet because internet
is not safe and Add an article
the internet
people
's informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
are
not protectedCorrect subject-verb agreement
is
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should briefly outline what you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your main points.
task achievement
Ensure your essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. This includes providing clear arguments for both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to more clearly convey your ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This helps make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.