IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others think they should only be allowed subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is sometimes argued that
students
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 have to choose the
courses
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 that are useful for the future and their work.
However
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, others assert that pupils should study everything they want and we should not limit them.
While
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 I understand the importance of useful
courses
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such
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 as science and technology, I firmly believe that
students
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 in universities should take every course they prefer and we should not restrict them. On the one hand, many have the opinion that
instead
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 of taking any
courses
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 university
students
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, should only focus on crucial materials. Our life depends on technology,
thus
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, any breakthrough in technology or other vital fields like medicine can affect our daily routines directly.
For
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this
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 reason, many people believe that we should focus more on these fields.
Also
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, in many situations, participating in numerous subjects at the same time can be a total waste of time.
Similarly
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, there are many
students
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 who only concentrate on vital
courses
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,
thus
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, competing with them can be challenging for those who have a minimum knowledge of different skills.
On the other hand
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, it is perceived by some that there should not be any restrictions for university
students
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 regarding taking
courses
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. I extremely believe in
this
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 notion because of several reasons.
Firstly
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, life is not about being successful and making a huge income all the time.
For instance
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, my major is programming and I have been working on computers for almost 15 years.
However
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, I like to play guitar, paint, and other art activities, and I don't like to limit myself to computers and mathematics.
Secondly
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, focusing on a specific subject
such
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 as mathematics, science, and physics can be overwhelming and devastating for
students
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.
For
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this
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 reason, many prefer to choose non-related topics to give a break to themselves.
Lastly
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,
According to
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 the research, if we choose different
courses
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 as a student, not only we can improve our vocational and artistic skills, but
also
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 it can be beneficial for our intellectual skills and mental health. In conclusion, people have different ideas towards the student's curriculum at university.
While
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 I understand the importance of focusing only on subjects that are useful for the future, I firmly believe that
students
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 should take any
courses
Use synonyms
 they want and we should not limit them.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets a good context for the discussion. However, try to make the thesis statement more concise and focused.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, ensure that each point is elaborated with detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and provide clarity to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases more effectively to enhance the flow of the essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is crucial for a high band score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and relevant to the topic. The conclusion effectively sums up your opinion and main points.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples that support the main points, making the arguments more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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