IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the outcomes of a survey about individual
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea buying and drinking habits in Sydney,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest rate in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 was of those going to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest rate was of those having fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people going to café increased sharply in Hobart,
while
Linking Words
 the rate of those having fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly in the same city. Looking at the details,
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
ratio
Use synonyms
 of people visiting a café was the highest one in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, at approximately 63%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
ratio
Use synonyms
 of those having fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the lowest one in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, at nearly 43%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of those having
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 was about 48%. After a modest drop in the
ratio
Use synonyms
 of those buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, the buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 proportion decreased sharply
while
Linking Words
 the
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 jumped gradually from nearly 48% to 53% in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and Brisbane. Looking at more details, Can see that the percentage of those having
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 was almost 46 per cent in Sydney .
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the percentage of those having fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was almost 34% in Adelaide.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the
ratio
Use synonyms
 of people having
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 was exactly 50 per cent in Adelaide.
Submitted by waell12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, melbourne, ratio, instant with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: