Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.

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Devoting the daily free

time

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of children to education-related activities is a topic of ongoing debate among parents. Some parents believe that using leisure

time

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for educational purposes is very vital. Others argue that taking free hours away from offspring hinders creativity and mental and physical growth. In my view, some parental control over teenager’s free

time

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for educational errands is viable,

however

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, parents should not allocate free

time

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for learning the school curriculum and should respect offspring's autonomy as

that is

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imperative for mental and physical well-being. Facilitating and doing certain things to help offspring develop an eagerness toward education will be beneficial.

For example

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, taking a kid to a science exhibition centre in their spare

time

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will increase their interest in science subjects and foster positive development.

After

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this

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child will be keen to learn new stuff in science lectures and will not lose interest.

Moreover

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, they will adapt to things well and eventually will become quick learners.

On the other hand

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, free

time

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is meant for children’s refreshments. In which they can play with their friend and do the activity of their interest. And

that is

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vitally important for their emotional and physical development. Not only that, but it will

also

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help in making kids more creative.

In addition

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to that, with a healthy mind and body, they can outperform the course curriculum. Which indirectly promotes educational benefits. In conclusion, partial control over children’s free

time

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for educational activities in the right way will certainly be helpful to some extent

while

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also

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considering children’s autonomy. But free

time

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should mostly be used for joyful activities and let the children enjoy.

jimipatel707Wed Mar 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are equally represented to maintain a balanced discussion, as this enhances task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure that ideas flow logically from one to the next, increasing coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on a more impactful introduction and conclusion. A stronger stance in the introduction and a more definitive conclusion could improve clarity and persuasiveness.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific examples that directly support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and provide a clearer understanding for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.

Your opinion

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

In some countries ,children have very strict rule of behavior,while in other countries they are allowed to do anything they want .to what extent children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples .